Saturday, August 28

Feniton Village Hall Car Park - 22nd August


It is always nice when the Hash goes somewhere different and so the pressure was on our Hares for the day, Slip Shod (aka Chip Shop) and Pony Wire. They also advised us that there was food on offer once we finished back at the family home and also introduced us to someone called Up Yours....anyone remember her? (That just leaves Radiohead and Chad still missing in action!!).
Anyway, Up Yours clearly had not been hashing for awhile as she proceeded to give the deputy sheriff 3 or 4 feeble excuses for not hashing for so long and promptly earnt the first 10p fine of the day.
Just before we got started there was time for a quick pee.....in the interests of Health & Safety may I take this opportunity to remind any Hariets that if they intend to squat...preferably avoid doing it over neetles!! Hope you've recovered Tit-Bitz!!
And we were off....confusion at the start and both directions encountered crosses. However it wasn't long before our returning hasher 'Up Yours' found the footpath. I think she may have inside knowledge! And so the hash followed straight into an uphill path. A check was at the top and the hash was lead through the fields taking in some fantastic views of the surrounding countryside.
Stat-Nav was now up front calling the hash on, he followed the trail downhill and fond a footpath that lead under the A30 road bridge. Here Stat-Nav stood in front of the back check sign giving just enough time for all the usual suspects to get to the bottom of the hill. Once enough front runners arrived he informed them of the back check and that they had to go back up the path and find the trail.
The front runners were now at the back and looking ahead could see Spocky with Itzy on his back running up the hill. How satisfying then that he was the second person to the next fish-hook!! Tit-Bitz, still recovering from 'stung-bum syndrome', was clearly not herself and despite clear instructions at the start that fish-hooks were for the first 5 set off on her fish-hook even though she was the 6th person there.
Also not listening to instructions at the start was Sorepoint. At the next fish-hook she only went back to the first hare. 10p fine would be administered later and in her defence she exclaimed "there were 4 others that didn't go back as well". "But I only heard you moaning about it" said the deputy sheriff.
The hash was lead up through fields with bemused horses looking on at this strange bunch of humans. For the brave amongst us the hash was lead over the horse jumps...although we did notice a few refusals at the jumps! Then it was down the lane to the hash halt. Some criptic instructions followed from the hare, and the walkers were lead off by Pony-wire, whilst the runners were invited to check it out. "Petrol" came the call from FF....petrol?? That's a push bike!! "Sorry, not petrol!".
The runners headed up the hill and at the top took in some more stunning views. Note to hashers, don't try walking through fields full of cow-pats whilst looking up at the views!! At the top, we temporarily lost the trail but as the hare remained at the bottom of the hill we guessed which way it was. On the way down a familiar figure was seen coming out of the bushes...PP was caught pee peeing!! After a couple of cunning back checks the trail arrived at somoenes back door. "Do we go in?" asked Twin Peaks. Another hash first....hashing through someones house, let's hope they didn't mind, particularly in light of what we had just stepped in! Through we went and out the other side to the sweet stop.
After the sweet stop we were soon back out in the country. And straight into a field of bulls. Not a good day to be wearing red PP. On On!!
A bit further and we got to our Short, Long and Long-Long split. The Long-Longs enjoyed their trip to Somerset before meeting up with the rest of the pack at the second sweet stop, or 'grape' stop. That was 'grape' not 'grope' Paperwork. From here we weren't far from home and so it was soon On Home and we were ready for a well earnt drink and the food promised by the hares at the start. (some hares will try anything to get extra points!!)
A very good trail with some fantastic views of the surrounding countryside. Well done Pony Wire and Slip Shod. And well done Up Yours for putting on some lovely hash grub afterwards....your almost forgiven for never coming! On On!

Sunday, August 22

15th August - Lympstone The Inflatable Hash - FF + PP


Our hares today were FF and PP - a good turnout for the annual inflatable hash, with everyone donning a mixed array of inflatables, from a birthing ball to a giant dolphin. Isoceles had a doctors note excusing him from getting wet and Marlene clained ignorance as her excuse for lack of air filled apparatus.
On On over the foot bridge through Lympstone with many a sunday villager giving us a double take as a bunch of people go jogging past wearing rubber rings and arm bands. We stumbled upon a small stream ....... was this it ???? was this the water we had prepared for ???? apparently not we were told by our hares.
However we jogged on to the sweetie stop with lots of lovely new fruity sweets to be enjoyed. There was a long short split with the longs leaving their inflatables in the safe hands of the shorts to carry for them. Horny woman was first to check it out .... (miracles do happen!!) but in her excitiment her inflatable kangaroo named Skippy was snagged on some prickly bushes and sustained a fatal puncture :(
Top cat was first to check it out - with a On On call that soon changed to a back check. Then it was there before us ...... THE ESTUARY
We all followed the trail, that quickly went into the water, with about 10 spectators watching us go ankle deep until we heard Spocky and Boots in Puss shouted On Call as they swam out to a large pole that had a chalk mark on it, 50 yards out from the waters edge. Tail lamp visibly paled, whilst Marlene was straight in there, (without an inflatable I may add) swimming with a white t shirt on ..... she deffo won this weeks wet t-shirt competition !!! Itzy Bitz was transported in a lovely boat fit for a princess.
After swimming around the aforementioned pole we went left the water, and jogged on through the village up a hill and through a row of beautful waterfront cottages and along the pier passing small children catching crabs in little buckets, the trail went to the end of the pier and then it was obvious we had to get wet again ..... so in we jumped into to a smelly black silt that was about 12 inches deep and very very smelly with another 12 inches of water. It was easier to crawl along on your knees than to swim. Tail lamp got stuk and had to be pulled out by Bell Toll. Woodpecker glided along like Jesus walking on water.
After we got out and were hosed down with cold water by PP we went past lots of drinkers at the Swan Inn who all gave us dirty looks that we all deserved, and then it was On home to the car park. Lots of naked hashers as we all got changed into clean and dry clothes. Fines were given out to the usual suspects and Marlene was named at last ...................... Wet n Wild ....... the perfect name for the game on hasher.
It was fantastic hash ...... roll on next years wet one :)

Tuesday, August 17

Feniton Hash

Just a note from the hare to say that the location is the village hall car park but as this isn't signed, it is next to Feniton Post Office and opposite the church. See you all there, on on

8th August - Stoke Woods Upper CP - Twin Peaks + Bag Lady

Nearly didn't make it to the hash myself this week, underestimating how long it would take, and then going to the wrong car park at the bottom of the hill. I wasn't the only one to do that either! Chip Shop arrived to cheers and claps as he had cycled and it was a very big hill to climb. The hares gave some instructions which no-one listened to then we were checking it out. The on was called down the road and up into a field, the walkers taking a short cut down the road to be met up with later on. Can't remember much about this bit, but I know we came out in the woods and crawled around the undergrowth for some considerable time. Unfortunately, we distrubed a nest of bees or wasps or whatever, which were not very happy at us invading their space. They showed their displeasure by stinging about 7 of us unsuspecting hashers. A very nasty sting it was too - mine took over a week to stop burning and itching and that was only on my ankle. Others were stung in more hard to reach places which bore no inspection! Eventually, with much moaning and groaning about out misfortune we came out into a clearing with a suspicious looking portacabin with the short cutters/walkers sitting around on a picnic bench waiting for us. This was the headquarters of the Paintball site, and as there was no game going on, we were granted permission to hash all over their site. On we went, though a net tunnel, past various killing fields and on into the woods. Crossing the road we had more of the same eventually returning to the car park from whence we started. This is where the hares really tried to curry favour and keep their best hash trophy, by bribing us all with home made biscuits in the shape of feet - with either red painted toe nails or red bunions and also rocky road. I don't know if bribery is strictly fair, but the biscuits were fantastic anyway. Thank you Bag Lady and Twin Peaks for another excellent hash - but can we have one without wasps next time please??

Friday, August 6

1st August - Wheathill Plantation - Groucho + Blobhoblin

Well, it's not often the blog is longer than the actual hash.....but this week it was a first! - ED
A short blog report this week due in part to the large number of hashers, over eighty+ turned up for a combined hash with Isca HHH. All was quite still as we chatted in the car park only to have our silence broken by the arrival of Hat Rack plus his coach loaded with hashers, what a sight as they stepped down from the coach. To put it mildly, most of them looked very much the worse for wear due to the day and night before.
Blobhoblin and Groucho laid the trail but due to the numbers split the pack into two groups going in opposite directions where they meet would by the sweet stop. Both groups set off at a more than leisurely pace, hangovers being the main problem for some of these non functioning hashers. Poacher was the one major exception to the rule, that boy must drink rocket fuel, whilst Buzby was in desperate need of the same. Woodpecker was impeccable and arriving on time, why, no one knows. At the sweet stop anyone would think this pack had never been fed, they were like gannets polishing off the sweets in record time.
Finally, we, both groups returned to the car park where upon the back of the coach was opened to reveal a large range of drink and goodies. The gannets descended within seconds, well there was beer involved, what else would any hasher expect.

REMINDER The hash next week Sunday 8 August is at Stoke Woods Upper Car Park.

Thursday, August 5

Well done Stat Nav!

For those of you that don't know, Stat Nav and Radiohead recently took part in the Lakeland 50. One of Radioheads fabulous ideas of 'ways to kill Stat Nav'. However, Stat Nav rose to the challenge and despite walking in a very peculiar manner and chafing bits of himself he didn't even know he had, he finished in one piece.
Well done to both of them, x

25th July - Warren CP - Tampa


There he was standing awaiting the arrival of any hashers, in fact he did very well, 32 hashers decided to turn up for a "Tampa Hash". There were of course several late comers such as Fruitybitz and Woodpecker, I'm sure that he,Woodpecker, is in a different time zone.
Anyway we had several new hashers in the pack today what they made of the rest of us god only knows, they got involved which was the main thing.The start was a little cofusing as just as we were about to set off Dr Jeykll asked if anyone had a mobile phone, which is of course a fineable offence, but she then explained that she had left the dog behind even though she had managed to arrive with her family.The confusing bit was that she wanted to ring her house, the pack were indeed then eager to know how she managed to train the dog to answer the phone. She given a phone only to find the line was engaged,perhaps her very bright dog had put the phone on paws.
Finally we were away at a check in the car park only problem here was that 100% of the pack went the wrong way thats to a false call, rumour has it one of the new comers was the culprit, back we all came through the car park whilst the public just stood in bewilderment as we, the pack passed by once more.In the blicking of an eye we headed for open heathland yet in the distance Isoceles was noticed coming back towards most of us, yes he had indeed found a back check, no more galloping of for Isoceles ! Next came the first of two long/shorts which split the pack in half, both routes continued on open heathland, as luck would have it the sun was in and there was a gentle breeze.We continued zig-zagging about the hare bringing his use degree of confusion to preceeding. Whilst in the zig-zag motion one hash was seen to disappear for what he rumour has it he described as a "natural break" only to emerge several minutes later with a grin on his face.The sweet stop soon beckoned our hare, Tampa, producing individual mini-packs of sweets for each of the hashers.Next came stream and bog jumping which then had an element of uphill thrown in plus a series of fish hooks,were Emerald eledted to pay a fine as she claimed she was to old to go down the hill to the hare: followed by a hash halt. Several minutes passed before pack were together once more.This gave Blobhoblin, todays acting sheriff, the opportunity to update his list of offending hashers, whilst inviting/encouraging others to tell tales.Once on the move, we soon came to the second long/short split, this time only about 10% of the pack went long, maybe several hashers by now had flat body batteries.At one point several hashers including Geronimo and Tail-Lamp took a detour to avoid a large area of water only to be spotted by the hawk-eyed Blobhoblin, who of course fined them
Finally we were back at the car park where drinks and goodies were consumed fined were meated out, the peace returned to the Warren Car Park.