Sunday, November 28

21st November - Joint hash with Taunton H3, Bowd Inn, Woodpecker


Mr Woodpecker, todays hare certainly produced a hash to remember, combining with Taunton H3 to swell our numbers to over fifty+.Our hare informed us that today the hash will be a" normal hash" withno long/short splits no fish hooks and only two hash halts. Having explained the usual markings he sent the whole pack over the main A3052 road to our first check next to a farm track, most of the pack headed up the farm track only to be told by the farmer that we couldn't go via his land. In fact we, most of the pack, were indeed on -on the correct trail. After a couple of minutes our hare appeared by which time PP had looked fondly at the farmer and her fell for his charms, we were on our way, but not before Handsome had suggested that all the women line up behind PP. Woodpecker had spoken to a farmer via the telephone the only problem was it was in fact the wrong farmer.Once on our we all faced a climb up the Devon Alps, the was probably getting thinner as we climbed judging by the heavy breathing, several hashers grabbing hold of trees on which to get a little support. As we reached the summit some twenty minutes later we saw Coffin who had in fact been waiting at the wrong venue, she was awarded the pink handbag upon our return to the Bowd Inn. Once we had reached a hash halt the back markers in the pack took some deep intakes of oxygen before the hare instructed us to check it out. Several minutes passed by before we were finally on our way once more this time enjoying a view of Sidmouth from on high as well as taking the benefit of flat ground, although there was a degree of water and of course mud. The hash pace had now increased with Slipshod and Radiohead leading the charge, meanwhile Groucho, Stat-Nav, Gaga, Oddbitz to namebut a few were by now bringing up the rear, this was the theme until the sweet stop was reached. Once at the sweet stop the goodies were soon consumed where a great deal of hash chat occured before the hare called us to order in his sergent major manner. From his lips can those words "check it out " and so we all did, well half of us did. We continued though the forest until we came to a rather steep descend with a very slippy surface on mud and moss for good measure. As the pack made their way down the call of a badgers set was made, judging by its size Mr Badger must be a rather wealthy fellow, the hole was enormous and what a view this badger had. Once down the hill the run was a lot easier and within fifteen minutes or so the sight of the finish could be spotted. In the car park several down downs were taken by members of the pac who had strayed from the straight and sometimes very narrow. A collection was made for Children in Need, which raised £77.00 ,thanks to all those who contributed, a cheque be sent off via Spockbitz
Also thanks Woodpecker and Son for a good trail, plenty of flour used and markings were very clear.
Four reminders this week, first next week's hash is from Joneys Cross CP just off A3052 near Newton Poppleford with FF and PP doing the honours. Secondly the AGM will be held at the Aylesbeare Inn after the hash next week, any shields/trophy winners need to return them asp and lastly any more hash T shirts/sweat need to be ordered by Sunday 28 November

Saturday, November 20

14th November - Pine Ridge CP - Spocky Bitz

Will is this a first, a hare laying a trail on a bike, then following the pack on a bike,well Spockybitz achieved this honour for todays hash. He supplied loads of slippy banks, large pudddles, generally wet sums it up.Twenty-five galliant hashers still turned up even though the r ain was raining and the wind was windy, they must be mad ! The start of the hash was more like a hop,slip and jump course due to the state of the terrain it was a case how long until your trainers are full of water. The hare had put in two long/short splits the first of which was rather challenging so Twin Peaks informed me who took a good five minutes to recover, how quiet she was, most unusual, however once she got her second wind things returned to normal.Stat-Nav also had the signs of this "challenging "long, he looked like he had suffered a period of time in a turish bath, he was covered in sweat.Radiohead was fit for purpose today carrying Radio Gaga on his back although he did occasionally burst into a trot with Gaga bouncing up and down inside her water proof carrier. The sweets were eaten quickly today by part hunger part cold and wet surrroundings. Half way round the trail Groucho revealed that he had forgotten to bring/carry the pink hand bag, he was of course fined, and in told that he must carry the said handd bag next week. Very soon after the sweet stop, a dog, who will remain unnamed it is rumoured , took out Tuned-In and another hasher with both ending up on the ground having landed in dramatic style, with a cushion of soft mud to break their fall. As the pack continued on their on their muddy way in the distance could be hear the sound of a Gaga making un-Gaga like noises, but she was not on the trail, she was taking Radiohead and Tuned-In or was it the other way round ! Up the road and back to the car park,and into the car, a wise decision. Once we hadd all arrived back in the car park the decision to cancel the AGM was made due Itsy-Bitz had ch ickpox and that Groucho's son T mouse was home for the weekend before he goes off to Australia. Thanks for laying the trail Spocky, I Groucho can't remember whether I thanked you in the circle.The AGM will now take place on Sunday 28 November after the hash, venuee for AGM revealed on Sunday 21 November after hash at the Bowd Inn near Sidmouth on A3052 road(joint hash with Taunton H3)

Tuesday, November 9

7th November - Haldon Belvedere - Stat Nav

Cars start filling up the rather small car park and new hashers arriving check to see who they can block in, and which cars belong to "normal people" and therefore need to be able to get out. We are, infact, honoured that the hare was there at all, as he had been planning to set from the wrong car park (the one that costs £2 for the privilege of a bit of tarmac) until a chance remark to Tuned-In had him scuttling around to change the route to fit in with the correct, advertised car park. New rules set by the Rangers mean that we are supposed to pay a levy if there is an organised group of more than 15 using the forest, so instructions were given to split up, look inconspicuous and claim we were ramblers, if questioned at all en-route. Also a Long Short split was cunningly planned for just before the aforementioned car park so we wouldn't all go through together, and no calling please! This was to prove problematic later, but more of that later.
Off we went into the woods up the long forest track. Spocky easily taking the lead as he had the benefit of wheels today, following the hash on his bike, with Itzy Bitz directing from the rear. Some excuse about blisters after a tiny little stroll on Dartmoor last weekend, or something like that! A small detour up a little gunnel covered with slippery cut branches, only to come straight back down to the main track again. Cannily the knitting circle managed to avoid this and remained on the track throughout. On a bit further to the first Long Short split. Dobby mistook the direction of the arrow and was disappearing off in the wrong direction until called back. The intrepid longs then went down through the scrub until we came out on a lovely biking track. Two kind bikers let us go first (not sure that was a good idea - surely wheels are faster than legs?) and off we went - getting a little strung out by here, the faster longs disappearing in the distance and the slower ones plodding along. I made it to the dodgy car park area with no-one in sight either in front or behind. I couldn't call as that would draw attention to myself, and there wasn't an awful lot of flour around for obvious reasons. I eventually chanced upon the right track and caught up with Stat Nav who was gallantly bringing up the rear. PP and FF are still to come, but where were they. Stat Nav decides to go back to find them. This might prove a little slow, however, as Stat Nav was walking carrying Radio Ga Ga in her sleek transportation device.
On a bit further and a check seemed to be catching the front runners out. A lot of loitering was going on, Up Yours claiming that she thought it was a hash halt as the dog had been sitting in the middle of the check! Fruity finally found the on down a tiny watery track and around the fence line - the first bit of shiggy on this hash. At least this gave time for PP and FF to catch up, they also had been going round and round the car park trying to look inconspicuous!
Then, hooray! It was the sweetie stop. To get to this sweetie stop, there was a small ditch to cross. This proved interesting on the bike, didn't it Spocky! Who promptly fell off and deposited Itzy Bitz in the mud! Perhaps two wheels aren't better than two legs afterall? Another long short split after the re-group - only 4 souls attempted this, Dobby and Paperwork again way out in front up the hill, with myself (Sorepoint) plodding along behind, then being overtaken extremely quickly by Wide Receiver who had got a burst of energy by passing off Free-Rider to FF for a while. I eventually re-joined the trail with Stat Nav waiting for me, ably doing his sheepdog impersonation and rounding up all the stragglers. On to the viewpoint then on back to the car park. Unfortunately this is where Stat Nav realised that his sheepdogging had failed, as he'd lost Millie and was despatched by Tuned In to go and find her. Isosolese produced bags and bags of windfall apples to share, which made Up Yours very happy indeed and meant she could stay married for another year! Turns out that she had a pre-nuptial agreement with Slip Shod which simply stated she had to make him apple pie for the rest of his life, and in return he would stay married to her! We have yet to find out what he has to do in return??
The squircle was called and fines were duly given out. Can't remember them all, but they included Bag Lady for bad map reading and being unable to find the car park, Spocky for using nerd names for his daughter on the hash (I HOPE he didn't!) and Paperwork for insulting normal people. It turns out someone had admired his Black Death Tshirt around the route, and thinking of being generous he asked which of 3 girls had spoken, as it was a small T shirt and only one of the 3 looked like sylph like enough. When being told it was one of the larger ladies mouth got started without brain being engaged and he blurted - "it won't fit you!" and ran off. (This is not the first time he has made this sort of gaffe - is it Chesty/Jenny??)(No and it hasn't been forgotten, or forgiven either!!! - ED) Luckily he was able to make some sort of amends when meeting the girls again later, he did in fact strip off his Tshirt and present it to them. Why they would want a sweaty Tshirt is anyone's guess.
Most hashers then wended their way onwards for their Sunday amusement. Except for Isosolese, who had sustained a puncture and had to stay and change his wheel. Thanks to Stat Nav, Groucho and I think a couple of others for helping a damsel in distress!

OnOn to the AGM next week. Pines Ridge Car Park for the trail, then on back to the Bitz residence for AGM. Please all bring a bit of something to eat.

Saturday, November 6

31st October - Keepers Cottage - Groucho + Twin Peaks

Well before the hash had even started it was like a mudbath as we all tried to park our cars in the bogginess. Poor Groucho and Twin Peaks had been laying the hash in the earlier downpours.Tuned In was greeted with much more enthusiasm than usual, ah yes, that was because in The Bitz' absence she had brought the beer.
We had some visitors from Kirton hash, unfortunately the only name I remember was Dense.....no sorry, it was Dents! They also brought with them a couple of hash hounds.
After calling the rabble to order, Groucho gave us all the usual info and sent us on our way. The Kirton hashers, clearly not familiar with a C of E hash, let alone a Groucho one, set off at a rate of knots, promptly coming accross a back check. One Tuned In had found the trail and called it (yes I know.....a miracle) they all followed only to run straight into the first of many fish hooks.
After more of the same we started our descent, and kept going down hill further and further. There was some confusion here, blamed on Groucho by Twin Peaks for trying to lay the hash backwards!!!!! We missed a long short split and a lot of flour in between then an impromptu hash halt was called whilst everyone caught up.
On down a bit further where we found the first SST, sweet stop treat, this didn't go down very well as the treat was actually a trick! On down a bit further and the first casualty of the day where Tuned In promptly fell on her arse. On the long short split Stat Nav and Tuned In were following the co-hare who also wasn't sure where we were going but very kindly helped Tuned In accross the river. She also offered Stat Nav her hand then as he reached for it promptly took it away and pushed him in! That'll be a fine then.
Once we all met up it was on on to the sweetie stop, a real one this time. Groucho had even laid on games for us. Eat the donut off the plate without using your hands. Some managed this more easily than others and some of those posh folk even required a napkin after (are these REALLY hashers???). There were also all manor of halloween themed sweeties as well which were polished off before we set off on the uphill slog.
Heres where Scarf Face did her first acrobatics, over a tree root. Groucho wasn't long after and also tried to launch himself into orbit before Scarf Face did it again. I reckon he must've laced those jam donuts with something.
At the next regroup one of our visitors from Kirton hash was heard to be quizzing Groucho on his trail laying technique (does he have one???), it went along the lines of "What do you use to lay your trails then, a map? GPS?" To which the response of the rest of us was "nothing, that's why the hare doesn't even know where we are or where we're going!" Never mind Groucho, he obviously thought you were joking when you kept saying you didn't know where we were or where you'd been!
He did however manage to navigate us back to the the car park, not before we'd had to walk through inches of mud and water. Miraculously though the hares had managed to keep the rain away for the duration of the hash.
Stat Nav as deputy Sheriff handed out the fines, mostly to Groucho but Twin Peaks got one for trying to drown Stat Nav!
On on to next weeks hash which contrary to what the hare thinks(!!) is at Haldon Belvedere, parking at the bottom of the driveway to Haldon Belvedere.