Kingsteington - Wide Receiver - 12th May 2019

Words by Rocky again this week:
This week’s hash was laid by Wide Receiver. A lovely day in Kingsteignton made a good hash.

First, there was a new person: Wide's next door neighbour. Wood pecker turned up late as we were just about start the starting the circle. As we were circling, we heard the familiar noise of the revving from his BMW.

As this was a long runners trail there were quite a few fishhooks. We came to one and it was 4. 4 people went back, people were relieved as the hare was all the way back. A few moments later there was another this time was 3. 3 people went back but when you did go back it felt like you went back a mile. Wide Receiver was only just entering the path people had been on for ten minutes.

When we came to the sweet stop there was a big entrance to the river Teign. Wide was taunting the group by going for a swim as if we were going to go that way. To everyone's disappointment we weren’t going to go that way. We went around to a bridge to cross instea…

Upton Pyne Village Hall - Twin Peaks - 5 May 2019

Words by Rocky this week:

The weather was nice; perfect running conditions. Spocky turned up through the wrong entrance to the car park and, in addition to that, started doing donuts in his car. There were new Hashers: Earl grey; who started hashing in China and his partner who is yet to be named.  Twin peaks wanted 10 back on a fishhook and that was quite a lot considering there were only 12 runners on the longs.
Not far from the start, we came to a field of long grass where there was along short split. The longs went through a small tyre track. I thought I was going to fall in there and disappear. Further down the track we came to a ha-ha which was not funny. No-one seemed to want to go back as it was a long way so they took a short cut and went round a corner to meet the short.
Moments later we came to a herd of cows which were mooing loudly. Speedy said ‘Hello girls’ and Stix and I made some cow puns.
Just before the sweet stop we came across a sandy hill. Earl Grey ran up to the to…

Mutters Moor - Woodpecker and Mad Max - 28 April 2019

Words by Rocky this week!
The weather was a shock as the wind was bitter cold compared to last week. Woodpecker started off saying that he had put marks in that he doesn’t believe in; fish hooks, ha ha’s and long short splits. 
Stix apologised for forgetting to bring the salad for Tampa's BBQ in three weeks time.
The first few checks came around, and one sent us straight down a hill only to find another one at the bottom sending the trail all the way back up the hill where we'd come from.
Not too long afterwards there was a long short split where the longs were sent straight down a steep hill to find a ha ha at the bottom. Bollards and Rocky arrived first, trying to fool others by hiding, but no one found it funny or impressive and it provoked no reaction.
We ran along the golf course, with Twin Peaks shouting ON FOR!
After hills and checks and lots more, we came to the sweetie stop where there was an extraordinary view over Newton Poppleford. 
Quote of the week - Child Catch…

Haldon Belvedere *Easter Sunday* - Wide Receiver - 21st April 2019

This week it was the Easter special and was laid by Wide Receiver from Haldon. When the circle was gathered everyone cracked out the Easter yokes, which nobody was pleased for.

First, Wide Receiver put us into 6 teams and gave us each an egg!  When the team got to a check the egg had to be passed on to another team member.  He explained a bit about the EGG markings (Easter gathering games) that we would find on the hash, and how we had to carry around the egg for the entire r*n, which - when the end of the hash came round - the winner would be the team who's egg had the least damage.

At an early check, Swinger (blue team) gave the egg to Chardonnay (on a different team) and then smashed the blue teams egg into shatters.  But Speedy picked up the pieces and carried them on!

We went up to the castle where Spocky and X-bits were married. Then we got to the first EGG and it was an egg and spoon race with a twist as the person holding the egg and spoon was on another team members back.…

Four Firs - Belltoll - 14th April 2019

R*n number 930Everybody was on time, apart from  Belltoll who only just made it back in time for the start of the trail.Ben the dog was very excited about the hashBelltoll was wearing latex gloves because he likes the feel of them.Bull Bait and Spocky were the only ones silly enough to be wearing shortsVery cold and windyWe first ran along the dusty paths of Woodbury Common until we came to a back check and struggled to find the trail.Wide always seemed to be miles ahead.Bollards and Twin Peaks laid down their hand bags to go for a wee together (see photo below)We came to our first long short through the woodsThe hills were icy and coldStix took the wimps route over the stream (he went over the bridge when he was meant to go through the stream)Bullbait mislead Speedy into a deep puddle, after which his shoes nearly fell apart.Sheriff Peaks dissed out some fines to all the ill-behaved peeps on da hash. Speedy, Woof Woof and I got fined for r*nning through a cross on a bridge apparently…

Joney's Cross - Spockybitz - 7th April 2019

Hash number 929 with 29 idiots in attendanceA sunny warm morning, but not as warm as it was when we left homeHaving forgotten he was laying the trail last week, Spocky was still very relaxed about it this morning, and only arrived to lay it at 9.30. But then he realised that he'd forgotten his trainers, so had to go back home, and only had half an hour to lay!Woodpecker arrived 5 mins early but Coffin and Imelda were late Bollards welcomed the hash but had a sore throat. Stix offered her something to suck on.The unfortunate return of Paperwork for the summer, but great to see Sore PointRocky was splashing everybody in the puddles We went off road and jumped over gorgesThe long/short split loop lost the longs, but they made it up by the time we got to the sweet stop We saw a man in camouflage taking pictures of the hot birds on the hash Woof Woof got stuck in a gorge, with Spocky running to the rescue of a damsel in distress, and Woodpecker did a ninja roll under barbed wireStix op…

Danes Wood - Child Catcher and Twin Peaks - 31 March 2019

Words by Speedy (and corrected by Stix)
Of course it was Mother’s Day!  But also Splat's birthdayGood to see Swinger back, and also HT2 and Endo, plus friend (sorry can't remember his hash name)Lots of fields, and a bit of shiggy A long wait at the first regroup, where we decorated our shoes with sawdust and flour and flowers to make Splat's birthday cakeWe ran past a farm holding its Lambing Sunday event. Lots of families there.  According to Stix when sheep conceive, they give birth 15 minutes laterSpeedy boring everyone about his flat earth theories (again)Son Of The Bits sprinted to the sweetie stop, after getting a free ride from Child catcherWhen we set off on a long, Howling Wilf at the top of the hill said to Child Catcher “I can see 2 peaks with a hole in the middle” (This will probably win him stupidest quote of the year award): there is an implied meaning behind this quote!Stix said that your number of nipples is equal to your number of testicles, this is true in…