15th May - Mamhead - Belltoll

It was an early start for Belltoll, 8am to be precise, he was already for his hare duties with flour in hand. In recognition of his efforts The City of Exeter was represented at 11am by 33 of their finest....well 33 hashers at least!Some old faces, some very old faces, Groucho's face is apparently in there somewhere and some new faces. Oh...and a new dog, more of which later!

After a few mintues of discussion the hashers were called to hush for hares's instructions and to witness the now customary late arrival of Woodpecker!

On On, and the hashers were off on the trail, Stat-Nav taking an early lead but went the wrong way at a check, and so Mr Hyde and Twin Peaks set the early pace. It wasn't long before we came across the first Long-Short split (now was this the one the hare advised would be the easy one or the hard one?). The Long's followed the trail at an awesome pace but turned the corner and ended up in a hash traffic jam. Belltoll's first back check of the day had everyone confussed. But on the hare's arrival, and a helpful hint the cry of 'On On' could be heard and the longs were running again.

It wasn't long before the longs had the shorts in their sights and were soon out front again, Dobby, Skippy, Mr Hyde, Paperwork and Stat-Nav racing away down the track just in time to reach Belltoll's second back check of the day. Well this was some back check!! Stat-Nav (famed for his ability to judge distance) reckons it was a full half-mile down the track from the point the trail actually took! Well half-mile or not one thing is for certain it was a long way!! and one more thing is for certain...if Tampa had been on the hash he would have had something to say about this Belltoll.

It wasn't long now before we got to the sweetie stop and anyone who had one of the jelly babies....I guess now is the time to tell you that Skippy dropped them all on the floor before he handed them around!

From the sweetie stop it was straight into another Long-Short split. Now Tuned-In had heard the hare's original instructions that clearly stated this would be the split to avoid so why did she foolishly allow Stat-Nav talk her into doing it? To make matters worse for her we hadn't gone far down the trail and Paperwork suddenly threw himself at her...Sorepoint, are you aware of this!!...Radiohead,are you aware you could make some money out of this!

A bit further down the trail, and in between regular moans about Stat-Nav getting her to do this long, Tuned-In happened to pass comment about the black labrador running with us today. With the red collar the mystery dog looked very similar to her own Millie. Someone explained that Dr Jeckyll's friend owned the dog and with that away it ran back up the long trail - the wrong way!

A bit later and we came across a City of Exter Hash record a fish-hook for 9!! Yes, NINE!! Belltoll, note for next time....nobody on this hash can count to 9! Well Emerald and Bush-baby obviously can't as only the first 7 actually completed the fish-hook.

We arrived at the view point beside the obelisk and Isoceles rounded everyone up for a hash flash. We squeezed together, as instructed, and waited for the sole lonely figure in the distance to join us...Woodpecker, customarily late for a hash grouping. However, on posing for the photo Woodpecker was seen to smile, very uncustomary behaviour! It was at this point that the hash became aware that the previously mentioned black labrador had gone missing! The concerned hashers resolved to find their missing four legged friend. None more so than Stat-Nav who quickly spotted a black labrador and thinking quickly, darted forward and grabbed it before it had chance to run off again. Simultaneously, Stat-Nav spotted a rather concerned looking young girl starring back at him and at the same time heard Radiohead's voice "That's the wrong dog you numpty!" In his eagerness to please Stat-Nav had grabbed a different dog..."perhaps they wouldn't notice! I've found a black lab for them!"

Back at the car park Mr Hyde, Belltoll and Stat-Nav (eager to make amendments for his early dog rustling) set off to find the real missing dog. They split up and Stat-Nav and Belltoll headed into the woods and Mr Hyde went down to the triangle car park. Belltoll and Stat were soon in luck and spotted a black lab further down the path. "ah!" exclaimed Stat "we forgot to ask what the dog was called! how are we going to call it?". Anyway, our Hash heroes soon re-united dog and owner but Stat had to point out to Dr Jeckyll that it was now her husband who was missing. It was apparent that she did not hold the same level of concern for her husband as she did for her friend's dog!!

Anyway, just when we fought Stat-Nav's dog rustling days were behind him, imagine his surprise when stood beside his car he was approached by a damsel in distress "have you seen my dog? it's gone missing!" "Are you joking?" questioned Stat....I don't think the damsel saw the the funny side! Remind us Stat, why are you single?

A good trail Belltoll, well done. Deputy Sherrif was dog rustling so no fines were handed out this week....but watch out next week.

8th May - Three Little Pigs, Crediton - Isosceles

It was a tidy sum of hashers that gathered in the square at Crediton for Isosceles virgin hare hash, only one latecomer today, Horny Woman, tut tut. Instructions were given and welcomes were bestowed to visitors. Check it out and we were off ..... through the lanes of the town, a couple of hashers were seen to dawdle along window shopping, but were prodded and poked on by the hare.
First regroup was at the local monument where we were given a history lesson by the hare, every day is a school day. On on to the old school of the hare where we were told he lost his cap gun and a reward was offered for its safe return. Sadly no one found the gun, but we were told we were to follow the cross country course the hare used to run as a boy. Apparently he held the school record for the fastest runner. Off we went over fields and through gates, we could imagine outselves as kids running along in our gym kit. Indeed Dr Jekyll and Horny Woman exchanged musings about the horrors of navy blue knickers that were compulsory in their day at school.
Soon enough we arrived at a railway bridge where we were hash flashed and treated to the ever popular sweetie stop, however today was a cake and cookie stop .... yum yum :) however a MAJOR misdemeanor was seen to be committed by Blobhoblin .... he was in charge of several cakes (first mistake) and he was passing them to Spocky Bitz when he took his eye off the icing and dropped one of the cakes !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ask you , could there BE a bigger crime??????
On On we went over fields and several fish hooks later we arrived at a long short split, the obvious went long and the more than obvious went short. Then we came to a BIG hill up a field that left Tail lamp, Groucho and one or two others breathless. The views were fabulous at the top so it was worth it, another flash was taken and off we went.
Many steps in the downward direction were laid out before us, Blobhoblin and Horny Woman discussed the problems of weirdly spaced steps that mean little people are unable to take them continually and have to go down one step at a time, so to speak. Before we knew it there was a sofa before us on the steps, was this laid on by the hare we wondered ? however it had seen better days and even hashers have some standards, so no one sat.
Then there was the last long short split and before we knew it we were all back at the square and waiting for Spocky to open up the refreshment tent when it was noted that Marshall Farts was missing, Wide Receiver went off in search complete with Free Rider on his back, Mr Hyde went off in search (well he is the lads dad!!!) with a frantic Dr Jekyll and dog running in the opposite direction. After 5 mins or so Mr Hyde and Wide Receiver came back with Marshall Farts in tow, apparently he wasn't lost, just unsure of the way. It was however another 10 mins before Dr Jekyll came back, as she had practically run the whole of the hash backwards, what mummies do when their pups are missing.
Quick fines were handed out, one being to Tail Lamp for being a FRB !!!! Fruity bitz for goodness knows what (she always seems to cop it) and the hare obviously x3. Off to the Three Little Pigs pub for a cheeky drink or a lovely roast depending on who you were. A grand job done by Isosceles no longer a virgin !!!