3rd April - White Cross CP - Slip Shod

The pack today numbered twenty-five who waited eagerlyfor the arrival of our hare, one Mr Slipshod, yeet to the surprise of all he appeared on the scene in his car. He informed us that the trail was finished at 10.00 am so he went home to see his beloved, remember it was Mothers Day. and to have a cup of tea. Anyway minutes before he,Slipshod had arrived another hasher in the shape of Doctor Jekyll left the car park,by car to find a more natural environment todo natural things and I don't mean to powder her nose.She was of course fined by our acting sorry I mean deputy sheriff Odd-bitz. FF was also a little concerned implying that he felt slightly undressed without the pink Tshirt to match his pink handbag. Eats Shoots and Leaves came to this hashers need making his feel more complete as well as less cold. Finally the circle was formed but Ben the Dog just carried on doing his own thing hismaster Tampa the shouted sit but there was no reponse, so Tampa shouted even louder, this resulted in the whole circle sitting down.This action left a sign of bewilderment on both Ben end Tampa's face, after which one of them started grinning from ear to ear, an action slightly more difficult for dogs.
Our hare informed us that the trail was one and on with an added bonus of four long/short splits not to forget the eagerly awaited goodie stop. The start, well we must have a start was straight on to a long/short with the longs headed downhill silly hashers led by Twin Peaks,FF,PP and Baglady.Meanwhile the shorts enjoyed the delights of a flat route, meandering between trees and bluebell plants only about ten days or so from blooming. However our peace was soon broken on the short route as we heard the calls of on-on coming from behind us, those longs had caught us up with bownless energy passing us as if we were standing still which some of us were. Doctor Jekyll seemed to be rather athletic today perhaps its all down to these natural breaks of hers, I must make further enquires.
There then came a series of checks, time for some members of the pack to get their bodies working properly, certainly worked for Odd-bitzs who at the start was walking was now running to such an extent he even found some back arrows/fish hooks.Our was rather cruel today forcing the pack to scale what seemed to be the highest hill in Devon, everyone was down to a crawl especially Groucho who had some how managed to form a 'u' type shape with his nose nearly touching his feet.Doctor Jekyll however got hold of Groucho and dragged him up the hill, Groucho loving this experience.At the top of the hill from hell was the sweet stop, what a relief with a good selection of goodies to be polished off , which they were of course whilst taking in the view of Sidmouth in the distance.Then we were off once more the wonderful view of Sidmouth but a distant memory, soon there was another long/short the shorts rumour has it that some of the hashers on this route enjoyed a conversation between two hashers namely the subject of bra's but it went deeper than just bras in general, developing to types then continuing on to size of said bras, these two obviously know their bras especiaaly as they were wearing them they were indeed fountains of knowledge one this particular, I would suggest that they enter on to the Mastermind Programme perhaps as a pair ! Who are these experts you may be asking well I suggest you speak two either Ex-bitz or Puss-in-Bootless.
Back at base beer was drunk peanuts were eaten and fines were collected by the sherriff who was showing no mercy, come back Stat-Nav !

27th March - Squabmoor Reservoir - Spocky Bitz

20th March - 500th run - Stoke Woods Upper CP - Groucho + Twin Peaks

Well the hash has managed to reach its 500th run thanks to the support it has received over the years, with our numbers now averaging over 23 per hash. For this the 500th over 40 hashers appeared to form the hash circle, this certainly moved on from the seven hashers who came to the very first hash, four of whom were my family members and friends, from the very same venue.
The trail was laid by my good self, Groucho, with of course the assistance of the one and only Miss Twin Peaks who it is rumoured knows the woods like the back of her hand. We started the hash with a long short split for a change however Geronimo decided to guide the longs in the right direction to rejoin the shorts, I think he felt sorry for them going over rough terrain, bless his cotton socks. The hares had a cunning plan that involved yet another long short split only this time Geronimo left them to it. The same familiar faces lead from the front when the longs reached the next hash halt, PP, Stat-Nav, Radiohead and of course Spocky-Bitz. Next was yet another long short split the longs heading down a very very steep bank, many choosing to slide except for Howling Wilf who adopted a different technique with added swear words, even more swear words were heard from the longs upon reaching a fish hook and faced the challenge of having to climb back up the dreaded bank whilst the shorts watched the action from the public gallery, the top of the bank. Eventually the pack were altogether once more the only obstacles in front were the water hazards,gorse, brambles and fish hooks. At the sweet stop the goodies were soon put away with Tampa leading the charge for any forage, some of which was sponsored by Bell Toll, giving us his left-overs from the previous nights barn dance. Having been fed the merry band of hashers continued on their not so merry way with a good deal of uphill in front of them with more brambles thrown in for good measure. After long climb the trail levelled out and gone was the moaning and heavy breathing a new injection of pace seemed to take over for about two minutes before returning to the more normal speed known as slow and unsteady until we all finally arrived back in the car park. Once the pack was gathered together Stat-Nav and Odd-bitzs handed out the fines of which there were many, in fact too many to mention, the monies going to Red Nose Day, thanks to the pack we reached a grand total of £103.20, what can I say but great ! As well as the fines we had two namings. Mudflap was accompanied this weekend by his good lady, Susie, who was named The Flap Controller. Also Stat Navs partner in crime, Chloe, was named Tom Tom.
Finally can I thank Spocky and X-bitz for organising a great barn on Saturday 19 March every one I spoke to was full of praise so well done.