8th January 2012 Uphams Plantation EJ


This was billed as the Great Woodbury Tour Part Two with tour-meister EJ, but there was no tour, instead it was more of a wander. Fashion was the order of the day with Woodpecker in a shell suit circa 1980 and Tail Lamp was dressed as Michelin Man. Over thirty fine hashers turned up for this EJ trail, much having been said since the last one (it is believed some people are still doing it!). EJ informed the circle that he had been laying the route since 08.00 hrs, which caused some concern amongst several members of the pack. However EJ then went on to mention that in the vast space that is Woodbury Common he had laid long/shorts a plenty as well as a walkers trail, suddenly, EJ was flavour of the month. We were soon off galloping in all directions with Radiohead and Cousteau setting a frightening pace (they should know this is not a sprint more a marathon) the first long/short coming after about 100m, Tail-Lamp still feeling rather delicate, the choice was the short route, taking with him five layers of upper body clothing(on doctors advice he later claimed).However Geronimo, being in possession of a map and an elite orienteerer, still managed to find himself on the long, a little bit of competition for Cousteau! Horny Woman along with Ex-bitz and Tuned-in took to walking yet arrived back in the car park last, what's going on ! Fruity-bitz was heard discussing wall paper and painting with no attention being given to the search for the route. Odd-bitz did one long then stayed on the shorts, not whisky or gin, claiming rumour has it that his body batteries were flat.The longs were sent on an epic route of about 3 miles up hills and down dales. The shorts understandably  arrived at the sweet stop first where Tampa quickly ripped open the packets to find as many black sweets as possible to fit into his hand. We did have a view of Four Firs but we didn't venture near it, we also saw Woodbury Castle again from a distance ,what a tease our hare was. We finally reformed the circle about an hour later, where drinks we had and fines given out with Twin Peaks being as mean as ever, in fact she collected over two pounds from hashers who still don't know right from wrong, one of the worst being Geronimo who dared to take a map with him and Tail-Lamp or should he be known as Onion Man due to the number of layers he had on not to mention his Dorothy Perkins tights.

The fact still remains EJ is a cult figure in the hash laying fraternity
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