13th December - Venmore Farm, Woodbury - Woodpecker

It was a good turn out for Woodpeckers hash, despite it being a tad "freezing your bits off" morning. Groucho was nursing a rough chest, indeed it was rumoured Beanbag had come along just to administer goose fat to his aforementioned, at regular intervals. Welcome back to Ringpiece, the good news is that she's out now, tagged admittedly, but out none the less, so we should be seeing more of her from now on ! Circle up and instructions given, obviously no long-short splits (woodpeckers pet hash-hate) but there was a breakaway group led by Radio Gaga who is obviously learning to read maps early on. Off we set, up a muddy and slidy hillside, that took its toll on Horny woman straight away - huff and puff she went with Baglady at her side, as her pacer for the duration. The FRB whizzed on and were caught by the first fish hook, then unbelievably Baglady and Horny woman were caught out and sent back after missing the 2nd fish hook ! Tampa called On On through a gate that was duly opened and not climbed as requested by the hare, up and down another muddy hill and then we crossed a small but exceeeeedlingly icy stream - a sharp intake of breath was heard from many a hasher, with the odd expletive !!!! After wading across and climbing up the other side of the stream, we jogged on for at least 15 yards, before........ yes you've guessed !!!- we had to cross back through the stream :) oh such fun. This time we had to wade for what seemed miles in freeeezing water the taller of the hashers were calf deep, whilst some of us were up to our knees. Out we climbed again, and off we jogged up a hill into another field. A couple of juniors were walking at this point and were heckled by older and wiser hashers to "keep moving, you need to keep your circulation going" oh such wise and unwanted words !!! We could smell the sweeties ahead ........ and mmm they were good, tangy jellyies and chocolate truffles were scoffed in record time and it was On On ...... Woodpecker had provided a stepladder at a certain point to help those less agile to climb over a barbed wire fence. Surely for this alone he could be a contender for next years Nobel Peace prize !!! One more deep stream crossing was tackled, with some clever clogs using the stepping stones provided by nature to help them cross, others just went straight in, and one lucky hasher who will be named as Top Cat was carried over by muscular hashers. A welcomed lane provided a solid jogging surface for some of the slippery feet brigade, whilst the FRB powered on and met up at the hash halt with the knitting circle, who we were assured had been provided with their own sweeties, for their very own sweetie stop. Beanbag had clearly had her sugar fix as she shouted "athlete coming through" and whizzed off, leaving her fellow knitters behind her. There before us was a 5 bar gate that refused to open so the chivalrous Sir Stat Nav stopped to help Tuned In and Radio Gaga to climb over the fence. Next to tackle was a small stream where upon a human chain was made to help the crossing of mother and babe safely to the other side. On home .............. It was a quick, fast and speedy circle up as we knew we had a hot tub, buffet and mince pies awaiting us at the hares house. So fines were swiftly given and off we went for a wonderful afternoon of Woodpecker hospitality.
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