THE AUSSIE HASH

Sunday 28th February is THE AUSSIE HASH from The Swans Nest, Exminster. Fancy dress is positvely encouraged. The hash is in honour of Down Below who will be leaving us for Down Under shortly (hopefully he will remember and come to the hash!!) Also a send off for Horny Woman who is off to Oz for 5 weeks!
Look forward to seeing you all there.

21st February - Newton St Cyres - Groucho

We all gathered at the venue,we being 15 of us, but we didn't get away until gone 11.15 hrs as we had to play a game called car shove up in other words we were asked to create more space for footballers etc to park, as luck would have there were no vehicle scratches or dents involved with these extra activities. Woodpecker arrived, late of course fresh from his holiday only to inform Groucho that if he was a six cylinder car engine he was only firing on three of them. What sort of an holiday had he been on?!
At last we were off with Spockybitz and Stat-Nav setting a blistering pace only problem being they were going the wrong way for the first three checks. The mother and toddler group were to be found at the back for most of the way, no doubt talking baby tactics and exchanging children friendly tips. The pack had the pleasure of running over part of a golf course, by kind permission of course, Tampa managing to find a golf ball which was his pride and joy until he spotted a target, Groucho, well his pink hand-bag to be accurate which Tampa's shot was not. We enjoyed a steady climb up a steepish hill with an orchard on our right, when I say we enjoyed the climb, some didn't, namely those who found a series of fish hooks.
From the top of the hill the pack enjoyed munching the sweets, once they had found them, whilst taking in the view overlooking the hamlet of Shute.
Horny Women was heard to ask Groucho if he had a hard one, the pack reassuring Groucho that she meant hard sweets. Once we set off we indeed headed for Shute where the pack separated on a long/short split.The shorts now soldiered on for a good 15 minutes before the longs had caught with up them. Spockybitz leading from the front of course, Stat-Nav and Fruitybitz were some way behind with the 'three working cylinder' Woodpecker sweeping up at the rear if you take my drift. The sheriff had now taken a liking to the mother/toddler group becoming an active member by relieving X-Bitz of Itsy-Bitz this giving her a chance to run, X-Bitz that is.
At the last hash halt we waited for Woodpecker, no sign of him though suggestions were made that he was now firing on one cylinder. Good hasher that Spocky is he offered to hunt for our hash hero Woodpecker and as luck would have you readers will be pleased to know that he was found. Finally it was into the last furlong with all of the pack arriving in various states of wear and tear.

14th February - Ellerhayes Bridge, Killerton - Twin Peaks

A new venue for todays Valentine hash, I don’t think we’ve ever started off from there? The official car park being tiny meant most of us crossed over the bridge and parked there. The hashers kept on arriving and before long there were well over 30 of us with some visiting hashers, Cuckoo from OVH3 and her family. The theme of the day was red as it was Valentines day and some of our younger hashers had made a fabulous effort with their fancy dress,
We circled up in the tiny car park, only having to disband straight away as we let a civilian car escape. Emerald at this point, sprinted (?) out into the road with a cry from Spocky, ‘Don’t lie down Emerald’, but she was just seeing them safely out. With Radio Ga Ga punctuating the hares instructions with her screaming, Twin Peaks gave our orders, lucky she has a good set of lungs too!!
She had been ably assisted by Groucho (is that not an oxymoron???). All the checks, hash halts etc were heart shaped, lots of kissing gates, fines for anyone not participating in the kissing and obviously there would be a sweetie stop.
On we were called up the hill where I believe the first fish hook of the day appeared. First 6 were set to come back. With a little bit of assistance from the hares, Tuned In found the trail while the others were still looking. Up a very steep hill where the children started checking out at the top of the steps, unfortunately they weren’t fully ‘au fait’ with the system and called on after only finding one dot. Eventually we set off on a bit more uphill through the woods and out onto a lovely woodland trail.
This led onto a long/short split with the longs heading down into the forest again, to loop back around and meet us at the end of the path. Here there was a great deal of loitering going on but eventually the frb’s called us on.
A few more kissing gates followed with Tail Lamp and Groucho seeming to keep ending up next to each other! One hasher chose to kiss a dog instead of a fair maiden…the cheek! At many of the checks there were letters which meant on this occasion hashers with any of the letters in their hash name had to check it out whilst the remaining pack exchanged love stories. This was flour power at work ! Not one hasher realised that only a limited number of letters were used and that if arranged correctly, spelt "lovers". Howling Wilf was caught out by the sheriff very slyly via another hasher who informed our trusted official that Wilf had called a false on-on, no love there then! We eventually got to the sweetie stop. We were treated to some lovely little heart shaped jelly beans with a few fruit pastilles and liquorice allsorts thrown in for good measure! Ah how lovely remarked several love struck members of the pack.
Soon it was time for yet another kissing gate, with several hashers now complaining about having sore lips. Serves them right I say! For those who love running our hare did of course put in three long short splits. She was heard to remark "well it won't do ‘em any harm". Towards the end of the hash there were to hash obstacles to contend with, the first a horse jump plus ditch, those who "refused" were fined and the second was a long log on which one had to get their leg over, failure to get your leg over resulted in a fine. Tail-lamp and Long Time Coming, pay up!
Back at the car park a large hash circle was held where fines were handed out.
There were also suggestions for some new awards for the annual hash awards ceremony. A trophy for best hash flash and a case of beer, I believe, for ’the hare-iest hasher’, this being whoever has laid the most trails throughout the year. More to follow on these….. But start ‘happy snapping’ now.
On On to Newton St Cyres next week
Ps Thanks Groucho for your help with the blog this week.

7th February - Castle CP, Woodbury Common - Howling Wilf

It was a cold and misty morning up on the common but that didn’t deter us hardy hashers, there were well over 20 hashers again. Groucho informed everyone that with regard to last weeks blog, Tail Lamps shoelaces were once again flaccid! Lovely word that!! Talking of Flaccid, did he ever return to the hash after we named him that??? Howling Wilf gave us our instructions and off we set down hill. After a lot of loitering at the next check, Paperwork called us on.
More down hill ensued, this did not bode well for later! Through the forest we went and back out on to the track for a bit more loitering. As we headed towards the next forest foray, some of the knitting circle had got themselves a way behind. We reached the first long/ short split where Sorepoint convinced Tuned In to ’go long’. This was to later become a very sore point! The knitting circle at the back however, thinking themselves to be very clever, first mistake, thought they’d cheat and go off piste to catch up, not realising that they then ended up on the long!! Ha! Ha! That’ll teach ’em.
After losing the trail a number of times in the forest, the longs all got back on trail and shot off into the distance, leaving us slightly less athletic (!) longs, way behind. This wouldn’t have been a problem if one of the silly buggers kicked out the check, but alas….it was not to be. Sorepoint and Tuned In arrived at the check with no clue as to which way to go and no flour to be seen in any direction, previously eaten by small animals I think. Who had been in front of us we mused???? Only the SHERIFF!!!! He didn’t kick the check out we cried, fine him, flog him, string him up we cried, ok, maybe a little harsh, but he shows no mercy to others you know!
Aaaaaanyway, after much to-ing and fro-ing and frantic calls of are you? Wilf was heard in the distance, unfortunately, we could hear him, just couldn’t decide quite where the voice was coming from, up the steep bank we went and as if by magic, Howling Wilf appeared. We all then had to catch up with the others who had by now caught hypothermia at the sweetie stop. Jaws in particular, looked like the end was nigh! After a short (for some of us) sweetie stop we set off again.
From here on the trail was pretty much entirely uphill. There were a few fish hooks thrown in for good measure and another long/ short split. There were one or two casualties on the way back up. Rumour has it Ring Piece fell on her names sake. Horny Woman stood on what was not quite terra firma, more terra bogga and was covered in mud. Also one of the dogs came a cropper in the mud and Ring Piece turned around to find her dog ’legless’ in the mud. Despite this we all made it back to the car park in one piece, where we consumed our consumables and the sheriff handed out fines and he himself was fined for his misdemeanors.
On On to Ellerhayes Bridge car park, Killerton, which is apparently between Killerton and Silverton.

31st January - Haldon Belvedere - Twin Peaks + Tail Lamp

What a lovely day - sunshine, not too cold not off we set to drive to the hash. Coming along the motorway - what do we see but a funny grey cloud over to the left somewhere in the vicinity of Haldon Hill. Driving a bit further along, this becomes a full on snow shower, flakes the size of handkerchiefs. What are we doing, voluntarily driving up Haldon Hill in a blizzard - haven't you heard about all those poor people getting stuck in their cars for hours on Haldon Hill in the snow. Do we turn round? Of course we don't - we've got a hash to run!!
Quite a few braved the weather and congregated in the car park, with our hares Twin Peaks and Tail Lamp looking a little bereft. Of course, it wasn't snowing when they started laying the hash, so all the sawdust was now under a covering of white stuff, and completely invisible! Tampa, Oddbitz and Puss in Bootless weren't confident enough in their own driving, and left their cars at the top of the hill, running down at the last minute to join the throng. Off we scattered, trying, unsuccessfully to find the on. Helpful hints from the hares put us on the right track. We had to have good hearing as well as good eye-sight today, to hear the cries of "your on to check there" or "back check up ahead". Despite the handicap we managed, on the most part, to follow what the hare's remembered of the trail. It wound nicely through the woods and came out on a bike track thingy with lots of bumps and lots of furrows. The furrows all full of freezing icy water so we had to jump from bump to bump for what felt like ages and ages. Not so easy for the shorter legged hasher. Photo opportunity all crammed in under the boat sculpture. "If that's what a boat looks like, I'm selling mine" cried Oddbitz. Very short run now to the re-group at a wonderful viewpoint. From here we could look out over all below us and see quite clearly where the snow started and stopped. Very strange! Plenty of sweeties to go round - even the passing public asking if they could dip their hands in. Tail Lamp was heard to tell a tale about why he wasn't wearing his hashing trainers today. Apparently he'd left them in the car over night and the laces had frozen so hard he couldn't tie them! A note there to all you slightly older hashers - cheap viagra - just sleep in your car and no problems in the morning!
On we went again, past the xylophone and under and over the rope trips to a hash halt at the other end. Where are the walkers with the second hare? Don't know says Coffin, I was the last one playing on the ropes. Much muttering from hare number 1, as hare number 2 seems to have defected with the walkers. The runners carry on over the road and round a bit til the Birds of Prey viewpoint, then straight over the top, down the hill and wonder upon wonders - we could actually see the blobs down here! On On up the hill again to the road, and on-down to the car park.
Much nervousness at the circle as a giant truck full of hay bales was being unloaded by two Kamikaze tractor drivers, and re-loaded onto other carts. They nearly ran us all over a couple of times, and blocked the way to stop people leaving, but don't appear to have done any lasting damage. Hare number 2 had disappeared already, but having hare number 1's bag in his car, was phoned up to return said item. Serves him right for rushing off early! The Sheriff awarded fines - mostly to himself and the hares, or so it seemed and then we all departed. A few of us congregated in the Seven Stars pub in Kennford and had a lovely meal for a £5. Excellent day all round!
Thankyou to Sorepoint for this weeks blog - ED