Wednesday, September 29

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR THIS WEEKS HASH!!!!!

St Loyes have closed off the car park at the rear and so I suggest we meet at Duckes Marshes which is at end of Salmon Pool Lane.
From Countess Wear turn left after Barrack Rd lights. Salmon Pool Lane is opposite Buckerall Lodge. At end of Salmon Pool lane turn left down narrow lane signposted Playing Fields. On road parking on single yellow line( does not apply at weekend.)

Tuesday, September 28

Broadclyst Village Hall - Isosceles - 26th September 2010


Sunday morning and we all gathered for the Hares' second ever trail at another new location for the City of Exeter Hash. Broadclyst! So new infact some of us had to stop and ask for directions on the way....others meanwhile were observed pulling into the car park and asking some locals sat on the wall for directions...well done Wide Receiver! (Excelled only by the fact he then drove a full 5 yards and parked up in a non-parking space when there were plenty free around the car park!).

Still this wasn't the only event to occur whilst we gathered for the hash circle. FF broke the circle to say hello to long lost friends and then bombing around the corner came Up Yours. Now this really did test the resolve of the hash circle...do we stay in circle whilst she drives towards us or run for cover? Luckily she pulled up a few yards short and jumped from the car to inform us that she was not here for the hash but was on her way to a craft fair. Her appearance was only to return the Hares T-shirts...very nice to see you Up Yours!

Then more friends appeared, on foot, this time saying hello to Up Yours and Dr Jeckyl who also broke the hash circle! Tut, Tut!

Then it was over to the hare....and an inpromptu history lesson...come on, wake up Spocky!

History lesson over it was on to what we all came here for...running! Well when I say running...

Around the corner and straight into a long - short split. The observant longs ran past the dots indicating the trail went down the lane to the right, but after a few confused looks at each other they were soon on their way again. Across the road, onto the footpath and this unholy lot were soon running through the grounds of the village church. On a Sunday morning as well, whatever next!

They soon caught up with the shorts and continued the trail through the fields. Laying in wait in the field was a fish-hook. Not that you would have guessed as the first hashers ran straight through it. Stat-Nav the only one stupid enough to return to the hare and remind him that he had forgotten to say at the beginning how many hashers should complete the fish-hooks.

At the re-group we were warned by the hare that the next long-short split would take the longs on a really long run. The hare wasn't wrong, it was long...but it would be even longer if you went the wrong way and got lost? Well done Spocky and EJ, hope you enjoyed the extra distance.

After the sweet stop it was on down the lane and at the check a left turn passed some houses and onto the footpath. "On On" called Stat-Nav.

At the next check, Stat-Nav advised FF that he was taking what looked like the obvious direction. After 20yards a voice was heard bellowing at him from the bushes, "where are you going? This is my land!". Stat-Nav returned sheepishly to the check, and started checking out again. Concerned that he thought he had heard the clicking of a shotgun Stat-Nav called back to the farmer; "Which way does the footpath go?". "That way" pointed the farmer....and off went Stat-Nav....rather quickly! On On, although in Stat's mind he only had to outrun Groucho to avoid being shot!

Onto another long-short split and some more very scenic running. At the next re-group the hare advised that he had given the walkers a shor cut. It wasn't long now before the tour of Broadclyst was complete and we were back to the car park for the circle, beer, nuts and fines.

But the afternoon didn't finish there. It was On back to Isosceles house for a cream tea in the lovely autumn sun. A very nice touch Isosceles, very generous of you! The arguement continues though; cream on top of jam or cream then jam? The hashers also enjoyed a tour of the grounds (almost as far as the hash itself) before the host announced a tennis challenge to all comers! Go X-Bitz!

A lovely trail Isosceles, thank you very much....although laying parts of the trail by car has been put on record!

A reminder to everyone that the Autumn Gathering is the weekend after next. Buffet food for the Friday night - please give details to Spocky of what you are bringing. And remember it's 70's night fancy dress on the Saturday night. On On.

Tuesday, September 21

Ashclyst Forrest - 19th Sept 2010 - Sorepoint & Paperwork

It started like any other City of Exeter Hash....except I don't think anyone was late! However, the Hares were not wearing the customary orange T-shirts....apparently they are running scarce. Although I believe Up Yours has got so many she is thinking of going to a car boot sale some time soon!

The usual instructions were issued by the hares; laid on the right (when Paperwork remembered), sweet stop, fish-hooks and we were told it was approximately 4.25miles long. We were told to check it out and hashers were seen running in all directions (ok - when i say running you know what I mean!!). Every which way but...the right one! When you look at the City of Exeter Hash attendees it is quite surprising that it has taken so long for this most noteable first to be achieved....we needed help from the hares just to get out of the car park!!

But once pointed in the right direction by Sorepoint it was across the road and On On! Dr Jeckyl taking up the role of an earlier front runner before Stat-Nav overtook her. No great surprise that a few seconds later the hash were lost again! Stat-Nav blaiming a kicked out back check - whatever! Sorepoint was soon on hand to point the hash in the right direction again and away we went.

After getting totally dis-orientated the hash was lead back across the road and down the hill. Down through the under-growth and Groucho was advised to mind the tree route. "What tree root?" said Groucho as he promptly caught his foot in the aformentioned root! We have missed you Groucho!

A little bit further on and the hash encountered their 2nd fish hook. It was noticed that Lilo-Lil avoided both the 1st and 2nd fish-hooks by arriving just outside the first 4. Welcome to the City of Exeter hash Lilo-Lil but was this beginners luck or an eye of experience avoiding the fish-hooks?

Not much further and we found the sweet stop. Mixed reviews were heard about the sweets....haribos are nice...liquorice is nice...but haribos liquorice, just don't do it. The left overs were thrown on the ground but even the dogs weren't interested in the haribo liquorice!!

After the sweet stop we twisted and turned our way around the forrest paths. Spocky was now talking his turn carrying Itzy, but this didn't stop him taking up the lead. He was just overtaken by Stat-Nav at the next check yet somehow convinced Stat-Nav to check out the least obvious route. A minute later and On On was called...by Spocky from the obvious direction! Stat-Nav you fool!

In sight of the car park now but the hares had another trick up their sleeves. Back into the woods and JY Kelly is calling out On On! Out the other side of the woods and we found the bit of road the hares promised us at the beginning. This lead us all the way back to the car park and a well earnt beer.

And in the circle Spocky pointed out for the record that the hash was 4.25miles long...can you please be more accurate next time Paperwork!

A very good hash Paperwork & Sorepoint - enjoy your holiday in Tunisa and we'll see you both again at the Autumn Gathering.

Wednesday, September 15

Peak Hill, Sidmouth. Sun 12 September 2010. Dr Jekyll & Chip Shop


Well what a lovely sunny day remarked many hashers as they arrived in the car park, in fact 28 turned up today to form the pack. Our hares Slipshod and Doctor Jekyll were biting at the bit to get started, except neither really wanted to explain what havoc they had caused or were about to cause. Stat-Nav arrived very very late claiming he had been delayed due to going shopping, he was of course fined, as was Groucho for wearing sandals just before we set off. We set off at a blistering pace for the first fifty metres then came the first check. FF,Cathusalem and Groucho found the trail except it apparently was the wrong one, it was the trail but further on, we were fined, we all blamed each other but the pack still fined each any everyone of us. There were three long/shorts splits which helped the old,ill,lazy and slow hashers amongst the gathered throng of which there were several. Exbitz and Puss-in-Bootless were heard talking about something technical as we all zoomed on our way, until the not so technical Bootless managed a very untechnical slide on her bum as she attempted to thread her way down a muddy slope. The hares also decided to lay on some view point stopped, but whilst the pack gazed at one of these view points there was a sudden movement coming from the bushes behind us.Whats that one hasher remarked taking a step back, are there boars here another inquired taking two steps back ! In fact what emerged from the bushes was PP who as her name suggests had had one, she was of course fined for contaminating the environment I believe.Eventually we reached the sweet stop where Slipshod invited us to search for several packs of sweets whilst he sat on a gate watching the chaos beneath him.The trail levelled out after the sweet stop as the pace quickened if thats possible with this pack, but our hares soon put a stop to that with a series of fish hooks, in fact at one stage both hares were at the front, who do we run too ! Suddenly Doctor Jekyll realised that she was meant to be at the back, most strange seeing a hare doing their own fish hook.
Back at the car park Stat-Nav our acting sheriff was ruthless in dishing out the fines whilst Spocky held out his hand to grab the flow of ten pences.Well done hares its on-on to Forest Gate CP Ashclyst Forest, near Broadclyst next week.

Monday, September 6

5th September - Squabmoor Reservoir CP - Woodpecker


The car park was fast filling up, but no-one bothered to leave a space for Up Yours, as she so rarely turns up anyway, and what with Chip Shop cycling 1000 miles just to be at her door today, there seemed no point at all really! Free Rider was seen to be wearing her shoes on the wrong feet, perhaps she fancies herself as a ballet dancer and was practicing her turned out feet? Blobby thanked everyone for replying to his e-mails and invited anyone else who wants to score to drop him a line! Is this some sort of new dating site we should know about?
Woodpecker, covered from head to toe in flour as it had been raining when he set the hash, gave us a few wise words and sent us on our way over the road and onto the heath. Lots of backwards and forwards, up and down, shiggy, gorse, brambles and all the usual hashing hazards. PP and FF had to leave us rather suddenly when PP's knee gave out on her. Hope you feel better soon PP.
Woodpecker had, in usual fashion, declined to lay a long/short split, but designed to keep the pack together by putting in the world record amount of fishhooks. These caught out lots of unusual characters, including Emerald who usually refuses to do a fishhook, and Jeronimo got caught out twice! Spocky and Wide Receiver were very crafty in letting Paul pass them on the boardwalk, only to send him back on a fishhook. They thought this was very funny, but not as funny as them getting caught at the next fishhook themselves! Justice is served. This was also Jet Ski's very first fishhook. The first of many as he grows up I'm sure!
On through the woods we went until we came upon a large out break of parasol mushrooms. We all stopped for a look, and after Sorepoint and Paperwork assuring everyone they were perfectly edible, Fruity and Puss in Bootless decided they'd take some home for tea! This sparked a rash of comments "Fruity has a lovey pair, but Puss's are a bit smaller" being the more printable versions. Bell Toll was also heard to like taking it slowly, a sentiment that Horny Woman was only too pleased to endorse!
On we came to the regroup overlooking the quarry site, full of water and lots of bird life to watch while we waited for the walkers to catch up. Only 2 bags of sweets today, licorice allsorts and mint imperials. Mint imperials really do go a long way though and all too soon it was time to set off again. Howling Wilf protesting that he couldn't possibly run as he was still sucking too hard balls! Not far through the woods, and On Home was sighted.
In the absence of the Sherrif (jetting off to Italy or something) and the Deputy Sherrif (No contact made - hope he has a very good excuse or at least a note from his mother!) we decided to abandon fines today. Obviously everyone was extremely well behaved and there were no misdemeaners to report anyway!
Woodpecker was heard to ask if Paul was local? How local does the other side of the world sound? Wilf asked Horny what finishing school she went to - obviously questionning her ladyship - to which the reply was "Toxteth" of course!
Horny Woman presented the Pink Handbag to Boots for looking lovely in a matching pink Tshirt and then announced she had to leave to go and save lives - however, she had left her keys in the pink handbag so couldn't go anywhere until she grovelled to Boots to give them back. I think he was weighing up whether her car would have been a better bet than his own.
A thoroughly good trail, thank you Woodpecker, and also thankfully only 3.5 miles, since Spocky, Fruity, Paperwork and myself had completed an extra extra long A-B yesterday.

Saturday, September 4

29th August - The Kings Arms, Otterton - Spocky Bitz


It was nice to see a lesser used venue for the trail today. We all gathered opposite the pub in the sunshine......no wait, it was a bank holiday weekend, the cloud.
We had some hash virgins today, Ray and his daughter Louisa and Horny Womans bit of stuff all the way from Oz, Paul! Needless to say the merciless piss taking started immediately, well, we had another 'visitor', Radiohead, who saw it as his duty to ensure Paul intentions to our very own Horny Woman were entirely honourable. (I'm not sure we ever established that they were????)
After welcoming our visitors and virgins, Spocky assured us of a lovely, dry trail that had taken him approximately 1 hour to lay as he got up very late, therefore it was only one and on. We set off in our various directions, most of us heading off in the wrong direction.
On up the hill we were called with the walkers actually not at the back for once. Radiohead began his interrogation of Paul while Bell Toll and Tuned In eagerly listened on. It did appear though that Pauls answer to all questions Australian was, sharks, snakes and spiders. That covered most of it!
Onto a long, shor split where the shorts were taken up a really steep hill to meet the longs at the top. Then on to a check where PP and Bell Toll were noted loitering and FF shot off in the wrong direction with Twin Peaks finally calling on on.
This led us to a few confused looking hashers as someone had kicked out the next check so the FRB's had shot off the wrong way.....shame.
Once the hare had shown us the way, the walkers ended up reaching the next fish hook before the runners had a chance to catch us up! Fortunately the hare had very kindly placed himself right behind us.......the easiest fish hook I ever had to do!
As the runners caught up and duly overtook us we got to another long, short split where more of our marks had been kicked out so the longs got a little lost for a while.
The shorts all waited at the regroup as a 'real' runner came past with Ring Piece and No.2 both breaking into a bit of a trot to follow him, he certainly hadn't fallen out of the ugly tree! Horny Woman for once didn't pass comment! Was she being a little shy today???
Once we were all back together we were shown on on with a dry alternative pointed in the other direction. The wet on on took them steeply down the bank into the river Otter. For those who took the dry option, we headed across the bridge and enjoyed watching them walk down the river. At this point there was some concern that we had managed to lose Ray and Louisa, the hare however assured us they were with Isosceles, who also was nowhere to be seen, but at least they were lost together! Once all the wet hashers emerged from the river we set off on another long, short split ending up at the sweetie stop where a great selection of sweets emerged.
On On then with the trail going back through the river and the rest of us just followed the path back to the main road, meeting up with the wet hashers as they came out of the side road to meet us.
We had a hash circle on The Green with Odd Bitz fining the usual suspects and as if to prove my point about Horny Woman being on her best behaviour, I don't think she got a single fine this week.....almost unheard of! Despite it being Spockys Birthday Hash, I'm ashamed to say we failed to sing him an terrible rendition of Happy Birthday! Apologies for sparing your ear drums Spocky. Due to the weather we had a quick vote who still fancied a picnic by the river and we voted yes so quite a few of us did just that.
Well done Spocky and hope you had a lovely birthday.
On On to Squabmoor Reservoir CP next week.