What a grey day today remarked Tail Lamp as we all waited for the bewitching hour of 11.00 hrs and as we gazed up to the heavens he was right, with Larks Vomit adding its not raining though.
Soon the hares FF and PP appeared in their hare-mobile, we, like all good packs, circled up and listened to our hares giving loads of information, one hasher, Blobhoblin, appeared to think there was going to be a written test following on from the info so he tried to hide at the back of the most orderly pack.
We set off with a pack of 19 putting on a good show as we headed down the high street to the first check whereupon the show ended and mayhem took over until at last the trail was found.
The route led us down a narrow footpath were X-bitz suddenly found the need to give us and Itsybitz a range of farmyard animal noises which, so I am informed, were very good, but she was still fined for being "all animal". What on earth was going on in the sherrifs head! Horny Woman was also pushing out the boat when she asked Groucho at one hash halt, how he was this morning where upon he started to cough, Horny stroked his chest, the cough disappeared and his chest suddenly started to expand, what powers Horny Woman has, some hashers were heard to remark.
We plodded on our merry way once more leaving the environs of Newton Poppleford behind us heading instead for what seemed to be the Devon Alps. Spockybitz had a burst of energy and left the rest of us standing, well walking/climbing to the next check where we encountered Spocky running towards us, he looked some what relieved and we all knew why, he was of course fined. Next came a long short split, those of us taking the short route choosing to walk except for one hasher, Tail Lamp, who elected to run. Oddbitz suggested that he was showing the rest of us "shorties" up and should be made to go back and join the longs, he too was of course fined.
The sweet stop was also greeted by rain, who may some comment about the weather at the beginning ? Once consumed with sweets on merry band of damp hashers moving along at various speeds in a forward direction I'm pleased to report.
Once the distant sight of Newton Poppleford could be seen the pace quicken except for one hasher, Doctor Jekyll who had a brief encounter with mud choosing to fall into it, what a sight, but there was only muttering and laughter at this fallen woman with little sympathy being shown. We manage to all find our way back to the CP where the usual refreshments where available fines given out plus the stories associated with and of course we all expressed our thanks to PP and FF for a great trail
Sunday, January 23
Tuesday, January 11
9th January - Upton Pyne CP - Groucho + Blobhoblin
Despite a clear and sunny day this was not to be one of Blobhoblin's starring appearances - was it sunstroke perhaps or just a vey heavy "night before"? His day did not start well: Groucho called Blobhoblin at 8.30 in the morning to check that he would be able to help with the hash to which Blobby replied: "Don't worry I'll be there at 8.30!". Heart afflutter Blobhoblin raced to meet Groucho at the car park only just remembering the sweets in hand. Added heart anxieties were then caused as Slipshod entered the car park nearly mowing Blobby down as he went for a vacant parking space. [There are some hashers who try and park their car in spaces that are already occupied. This is generally best avoided as the costs of car repair are not insignificant!]
Well as a mottley selection of 23 hashers circled up, bedazzled by a strange shining thing in the deep blue sky, we received our instructions for the coming trail: in flour (with a strange reddy/pink hue), one and on (clearly caused by Blobhoblin's absence - we can tell you know!) one long-short and first three on the fish-hooks to Blobhoblin. In the Sherrif's absence the previous Sherrif, Odd Bitz, agreed to step in and do the honours.
On to the first check we all enthusiastically raced eager to find the way of the cunning hare. Whether it was feminine intuition, spying or a recollection from previous hashes (no! surely not!) but Twin Peaks seemed to find the way from a backcheck some time before the backcheck was even reached by the leading hashers. Well follow that girl we did and lo and behold we found the trail as if by magic! On the road we galloped....well to call it a gallop is a bit of an exaggeration as there was much slippage and bits wobbling everywhere as the ice on the roads caused hash chaos, terror and fright.
Thence onto what we were told was a long-short split - was there any sign of such a split? Did it matter that 3/4 of the hashers had already proceeded on towards the long route? Our Mr Groucho did not seem too worried and allowed the injured and the lame to walk with him on the short route. The rest of the group however had no choice! On we had to dally with the ice whilst only occasionally getting to see fine houses and countryside around that part of the world. Mr Blobhoblin was enjoying the sights very much indeed, so much so he was nearly leading the field. This wouldn't normally have been a problem except that, as he was fourth behind the leader of the pack, the leaders did not have very far to come back when they came across a fish-hook! Once we had been able to recongregate at the re-group Woodpecker gave Blobhoblin a friendly word in his ear advising on generally accepted protocols for the hare ie not to lead!
Mr Blobhoblin was still in a dazed trance as we seemed to wait some time for the injured and the lame: Where were they? Were they coming at all? Where do we go from here? Is the answer 42? All we got from Mr Blobhoblin was "Well don't look at me - I didn't set the trail!". With such a feeble excuse the pack took it upon itself to continue on its merry way sniffing out the way towards the next regroup where apparently, we had it on good authority, the injured and the lame would be waiting. Were they there? Were they heck! Groucho had waited so long he took pity on them and sent them on ahead! Well on we trekked hunting the trails and shouting on on as we came across the reddy/pinky flour, past the little piggies (very sweet - I'm sure they wouldn't miss one for the barn dance!) before arriving,at last, at the band of the injured and the lame by now fast asleep they had been waiting so long (although it did seem to give the Sherrif a chance to take note and write up a long list of miscreants).
That marked the sweety stop - a good selection of liquorice allsorts and coconut chocolates before the hare called us to check out. Woodpecker was heard to say that he would eat his hat if it wasn't that way - of course it wasn't but he didn't have a hat to eat! Into the village of Langford we strolled and then on up past the hill on home a splendidly sunny hash with great Blobhoblin moments!
That marked the end of the days hash apart from the Sherriff dishing out the fines here there and everywhere. Spocky reminded us all that tickets for the barn dance are now officially for sale so get them quick while stocks last - there are only limited places.
On on to the next hash 16 January 2011 at Newton Poppleford village car park - PP and FF doing the honours (although PP did have to ask where the next week's hash was - and was duly fined!). On on........
Well as a mottley selection of 23 hashers circled up, bedazzled by a strange shining thing in the deep blue sky, we received our instructions for the coming trail: in flour (with a strange reddy/pink hue), one and on (clearly caused by Blobhoblin's absence - we can tell you know!) one long-short and first three on the fish-hooks to Blobhoblin. In the Sherrif's absence the previous Sherrif, Odd Bitz, agreed to step in and do the honours.
On to the first check we all enthusiastically raced eager to find the way of the cunning hare. Whether it was feminine intuition, spying or a recollection from previous hashes (no! surely not!) but Twin Peaks seemed to find the way from a backcheck some time before the backcheck was even reached by the leading hashers. Well follow that girl we did and lo and behold we found the trail as if by magic! On the road we galloped....well to call it a gallop is a bit of an exaggeration as there was much slippage and bits wobbling everywhere as the ice on the roads caused hash chaos, terror and fright.
Thence onto what we were told was a long-short split - was there any sign of such a split? Did it matter that 3/4 of the hashers had already proceeded on towards the long route? Our Mr Groucho did not seem too worried and allowed the injured and the lame to walk with him on the short route. The rest of the group however had no choice! On we had to dally with the ice whilst only occasionally getting to see fine houses and countryside around that part of the world. Mr Blobhoblin was enjoying the sights very much indeed, so much so he was nearly leading the field. This wouldn't normally have been a problem except that, as he was fourth behind the leader of the pack, the leaders did not have very far to come back when they came across a fish-hook! Once we had been able to recongregate at the re-group Woodpecker gave Blobhoblin a friendly word in his ear advising on generally accepted protocols for the hare ie not to lead!
Mr Blobhoblin was still in a dazed trance as we seemed to wait some time for the injured and the lame: Where were they? Were they coming at all? Where do we go from here? Is the answer 42? All we got from Mr Blobhoblin was "Well don't look at me - I didn't set the trail!". With such a feeble excuse the pack took it upon itself to continue on its merry way sniffing out the way towards the next regroup where apparently, we had it on good authority, the injured and the lame would be waiting. Were they there? Were they heck! Groucho had waited so long he took pity on them and sent them on ahead! Well on we trekked hunting the trails and shouting on on as we came across the reddy/pinky flour, past the little piggies (very sweet - I'm sure they wouldn't miss one for the barn dance!) before arriving,at last, at the band of the injured and the lame by now fast asleep they had been waiting so long (although it did seem to give the Sherrif a chance to take note and write up a long list of miscreants).
That marked the sweety stop - a good selection of liquorice allsorts and coconut chocolates before the hare called us to check out. Woodpecker was heard to say that he would eat his hat if it wasn't that way - of course it wasn't but he didn't have a hat to eat! Into the village of Langford we strolled and then on up past the hill on home a splendidly sunny hash with great Blobhoblin moments!
That marked the end of the days hash apart from the Sherriff dishing out the fines here there and everywhere. Spocky reminded us all that tickets for the barn dance are now officially for sale so get them quick while stocks last - there are only limited places.
On on to the next hash 16 January 2011 at Newton Poppleford village car park - PP and FF doing the honours (although PP did have to ask where the next week's hash was - and was duly fined!). On on........
Thursday, January 6
2nd January 2011 - Bridge Farm, Stoke Canon - Groucho + Twin Peaks
16 braves, including 3 lamed wastrels bemoaning winter colds and sneezes, appeared through the cold and the drizzle for this New Year's hash hosted by Groucho and the inimitable Ms Twin Peaks (quite a pair those two!). After circling up in a shivering and shuddering mass we were reminded of the new scoring system and received our instructions: laid in flour, 3 and on, 2 long-shorts and the first three whenever we were to come across a fish-hook.
Groucho pointed us to a nearby check but perhaps it was his old age that meant he had forgotten he had put the next check right by the entrance to the farm as we drove in - on, on that way then! Clearly not content with letting the drizzle chill us to the core, the hares decided we needed frosting even further and pushed us on through the river: first knee deep and then rather sneakily laid a false trail through a waist-high stretch of river - we do wonder whether Boots In Puss will ever be the same again!
On on towards the railway line we congregated for a regroup. Clearly we have another trainspotter as Spocky was seen to looking at and admiring the passing trains - his excuse was he was checking out but clearly Groucho's influence is showing through. On towards and through the shiggy and row upon row of assorted root vegetables we marched to much annoyance of Roo who seemed to take great pleasure in rounding up the mud-strewn hashers and streaking from one end of the group to the other. At the end of the shiggy field Spocky, Twin Peaks and Coffin demonstrated their train knowledge even further by discussing the various train lines, routes and junctions to London town: who'd have thought there was such knowledge in our hashing circle?
Thence onto the sweetie stop where the new scoring system is providing ample incentive to improve the quality of sustenance mid-way through our Sunday jaunts: chocolate buttons, jelly babies, fruit pastilles and the like - a fine spread indeed. After we were all amply filled with sugar we progressed our way back through the Exe (only ankle deep this time thank heavens) back towards the farm. Up the hill marched the longs only to have to march back down again to meets the shorts (neither up nor down) and cross the field. Maybe it was the sugar rush to the head, the herd instinct never to be alone or perhaps just a general inability to count but both Puss in Bootless and Coffin were seen doing the fish-hook after Spocky and Boots in Puss had already gone to the back of the class. A fine indeed for the two of them.
Back on home the farmer kindly supplied stiff hose and water to wash us all down swiftly followed by Spocky supplied beer, mince pies, crisps and hot chocolate. On the circle the sheriff, relying on his snitch spies as he was one of the lame wastrels, duly reprimanded the chief miscreants.
Groucho then gave us an update on the state of play with the Forestry Commission: he and Buzby will be meeting up with the Commission to see whether something can be worked out for all the hashes in the South-West. Thus the hash due to be held at Haldon next week has been changed to Upton Pyne village.
Spocky confirmed he had booked the hall and band for the 500th anniversary shin-dig on Saturday 19 March 2011 - dates for diaries everyone.
Tampa is looking for a hare on 6 February 2011 and after - any volunteers?
On on to 9 January 2011 at Upton Pyne Village car park with Groucho again performing the honours.
Sunday, January 2
26th December - Joneys Cross - Spocky Bitz
Well what a jolly (cold) lot we were braving temperatures of -10C (well it was -10 in Exeter) despite Spocky's protestations that it was really warm out there - but he had just laid the trail, so it was of no consolation to us standing around freezing our Odd Bitz off. Body temperatures suffered still further as a number of attempts at a hash flash delayed proceedings still further - first Freewheeler, then Odd Bitz and then Isosceles all wanted a picture of the vision of white loveliness (it certainly couldn't have been of the hashers).
The hare duly did his business and briefed us on the days order of play - one and on, fishhooks, long shorts with todays special treat being a trail laid in blue paint (an idea he had stolen from FF and PP). Anyway seemed to work a treat with only one lost hasher on the way (but more on that later).
On on was called down towards the woods and onto the first backcheck of the day. Must confess it wasn't too hard to find the trail...footprint evidence is a real giveaway in the snow! On we came to the first regroup - a spectacular viewpoint which the hare informed us was very pretty earlier on in the day when the sun was just rising - just a shame it was now overcast! Off the merry band hastened away and onto the first long-short split, the longs going round in a circle before catching up with the shorts. This circular motion was clearly too much for Woodpecker as he lost the trail and was only found several minutes later coming from completely the opposite direction.
The resulting regroup was time for sweeties and as if by magic there appeared a fine festive box of chocolate delights - all of them with rather cold hard centres. This time of relative idleness was clearly too much for some of the hashers as Radiohead thought it might be a good idea to start lobbing a few snowballs into the gathered crowd. A good snowball fight ensued - anything to keep that blood flowing!
The next section of the hash was clearly made for those of fine and stern stuff as the dry snow gave was to slippery, thawing, muddy ice the fishhooks giving those ahead a chance to experience the delights a second time. That gave way to the third regroup and the chance for another sweety intake although this time the hashers had clearly got the festive spirit well and truely into them with the snowballs flying very quickly indeed. The cold had clearly got to a couple of the hashers: Freewheeler, perhaps feeling left out of proceedings, going to the centre and shouting "I haven't had any yet!" closely followed by Up Yours: "Don't get me in the face - it really hurts!". The band of fine and upstanding hashers took pity on these two poor wastrels and duly obliged by focusing all their snow throwing talent at the duo and making sure they were well-covered in the white stuff. It really doesn't get any better than that does it?
Marshall Farts thought he would make someones day by shaking a tree so that the snow fell on the passing hashers. Only problem was that he hadn't figured that by shaking the tree the snow would fall on him instead! Poor Marshall (but well-deserved and 10 out of 10 for mischief making).
On on back towards home the hashers progressed, the snow by this time making it hard going. Twin Peaks, always up for a quote of the day was heard to mention: "Ooooh - I really needed that this morning!" with Slipshod responding: "Yes it was hard one wasn't it!". Fines for the both of them I think.
Other fines for the day included:
- Dr Jekyll for shortcutting (and foolishly admitting it right in front of the Sheriff);
- Marshall Farts for his heroic tree-shaking;
- Freewheeler and Up Yours for their desire to be covered in the white stuff;
Warmth followed with beer, mulled wine and mince pies courtesy of Spocky Bitz - thank you!
On on to the next hash: 2 January 2011 at Bridge Farm, Stoke Cannon, with our GM Groucho presiding. You get to Bridge Farm from the A396 out of Exeter and just before you cross the Exe coming into Stoke Cannon, turn right and then immediately left into the farm. Groucho tells me they have organic meat for sale there which the famrer will be more than happy to sell!
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