25th April - Newton Poppleford - Stat Nav and Radiohead

On arriving at the car park on this somewhat dull day, most of us had to do laps of Newton Pop to find anywhere to park. It would appear some ramblers had chosen this as their rendez-vous point too.
Eventually we all gathered together though to receive our instructions. Stat Nav promised long/short/walkers splits, laid in flour on the right but sometimes left and most importantly, a sweetie stop!
On on we were shown, down past the church and onto a small path across the main road. Onto a check where Spud-U-Like was loitering waiting to hear a call. As we were called on Tuned In was seen to be overtaking Radiohead! He must be losing his touch!
We emerged out onto the country lanes to be greeted with a bit of a slog up a hill that seemed to go on forever. There was a fish hook here for 3 but as Radiohead was 4th they didn't have far to return. Onto a woodland trail now and the first of the splits. Twin Peaks, Sorepoint and Paperwork surprisingly doing the long after yesterdays half marathon....sorry, A2B. Also taking the long were Spocky and Wide Receiver, despite being 'with child' so to speak. However on the walker route were a few slackers.......named and shamed Horny Woman, Fruity Bitz et al! Poor excuses of too busy talking to realise!
The short route took a lovely path through the woodland with a couple of false trails and a back check eventually meeting up at the regroup with the skivers.....I mean walkers! We waited for the longs to catch up (what a satisfying sentence) and waited......and waited, eventually Odd Bitz and Sorepoint appeared, followed by Radiohead. Sorepoint suggested a point where she thought the others may have got confused then lost so Radiohead went back to round up our lost sheep. Once they arrived at the regroup we quickly called on on while leaving Radiohead to find Woodpecker.
After narrowly avoiding being mown down by some townie in his Chelsea tractor, we headed left into the fields where Twin Peaks, Paperwork and Twice Daily got stuck with the fish hook. This left Sorepoint and Tuned In setting the pace up the front! Sorepoint having a little inside knowledge of where the trail may go as it was the same territory as the A2B. On on we called past some horses and arriving at the sweetie stop.
Before Stat Nav had arrived with the sweets, Spud U Like, in her 3 tops, decided she was way too hot, can't imagine why????? So proceeded to strip off as needless to say, the long sleeved one she wanted to remove was the bottom one. Nudity on a hash can you believe it? Soon Stat Nav had arrived carrying little Radio Gaga and the sweets were dished out. No less than 4 bags today including minstrels....yum! Always good for point scoring that is.
On again to another long/short split where Stat Nav helpfully pointed Pebbledash on the long telling him it was the short! Runs Again thought this was hilarious and despite his best efforts to 'let him go that way' Stat Nav called him back. The shorts headed onto another check with Bag Lady and Fruity Bitz finding the correct trail closely followed by Odd Bitz. It was down this lovely little trail that Tuned In decided to perform her best Super Woman impression. However, I don't recall Super Woman doing it and landing flat on her back??? Stinging nettles do NOT maketh a comfy bed??!! After that excitement we all continued on to the trail adjacent to the river with Bag Lady striding out in front along with Runs Again only to come across a fish hook which sent them and Tampa backward.
While Tuned In played on the swings, Odd Bitz and Fruity searched out the trail which led back by the playing fields and on to the On Home. Back in the car park Horny Woman announced she was having a BBQ back at hers with all welcome to come, in honour of her 50TH BIRTHDAY, yes just in case anyone didn't realise it's her 50TH!!!
She was given back the pink handbag as it was pointed out she had tried to palm it off before she went to Australia, but it had waited for her all this time. The sheriff, finally back, fined various people for various misdemeanors then we all set off to the On Down at Hornys where we enjoyed a lovely BBQ, thanks Horny Woman and Happy Birthday, xx
On On to next week at Pines Ridge CP, Woodbury Common.

Sunday 18th April - Squabmoor Reservoir - Spocky Bitz

The car park at Squabmoor had been literally invaded by hashers, leaving no room for any normal people to park. Spocky called the group together and provided them with the instructions for the hash, and added that he had also arranged the lovely weather. (friends in high places, Spocky?).

Woodpecker arriving fashionably late pulled into the car park, to which Spocky declared "it must be quarter past, Woodpecker has arrived". If we weren't convinced of the time already we were soon to get our second confirmation....5 mins after Woodpecker, in rolls Tampa. "It must be 20 past now!" exclaimed the hashers in unison.

...but they weren't the last to arrive!! (more about that later).

On On, across the road and towards a crafty left turn over the bank, and on to what can only be described as a Spocky assault course. Through woods, balancing across fallen tree trunks, jumping streams, through a tunnel and finally up a bank to the first regroup. From here it was straight into a long-short split. For the longs there was another periless tree trunk crossing, where Isoceles waited with camera in hand to capture anyones misfortune. However, we all made it across, just!

From the distance a familiar voice could be heard - Sorepoint - a little less familiar was her calls of "On On". Could this really be Sorepoint front running?? (What on earth has happened to our hash? Come back Groucho your hash needs you!). The chasing pack was lead by Paperwork and Stat-Nav, that was until the latter took a tumble into the gorse bush.

On On to the sweet stop and time for a quick hash flash. Just as we were finishing the other late arrivals came into sight. Mr Hyde, Dr Jekyll, Tree Creeper and Martial Farts had finally arrived and left everyone else wondering; "were they really late? or just really early for next weeks hash?". It was On On, to real confusion! The hash had split in different directions before the hare gave a clue, and back came the hashers with Dynamo showing true hashing spirit by running straight through the mud.

Up the hill and the hashers were soon following Dr Jekyll....alas they were following her the wrong way!

On On came a loud call....from above? (Was it Spocky's friends in high places???). The mystery para-glider clearly knew that the only people to be daft enough to run over the common on a beautiful Sunday morning must be hashers. This be must the first time we've ever had anyone fly the hash?

Down past the lakes, across the road and a fish-hook was waiting for Stat-nav, Paperwork and Mr Hyde, Sorepoint deliberately slowing down to let Mr Hyde take the honours. However, justice was done as around the corner and the next fish-hook lay in wait for her. A bit further on and Stat-Nav and Tampa arrived at another fish-hook. Naughty Tampa took the opportunity to change the number at the fish-hook. Tampa was later fined for Tampering (suppose it does what it says on the tin!).

It was then On On to a second sweet stop by the reservoir before embarking on the muddy trail home. There was just enough time for Lucy to spot an adder in the undergrowth on the way back to the car park.

Not a bad hash really Spocky - you'll make a good hare one day! Anyway, next week's will be really good. Newton Poppleford car park. On On!

Sun 11th April 2010 - Frying Pans - Blobhoblin

Well we all gathered at the usual time but not so usual place. Most of us had arrived but many had trouble finding the car park. Dynamo had found the car park but lost her friends and by missing the start of the hash set a new record as the fast recorded time for losing a hasher. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde arrived late with Tree Creeper and Martial Farts but thankfully hadn't gone to Exmouth on this occasion. However, Dr Jekyll did try pre-paying her anticipated fine for being late, but was later rumbled as this was infact paying off an outstanding debt!!

After a quick brief from the hare the intrepid hashers were sent on their way. Within 20 meters the entire hash was going the wrong way!! Well done City of Exeter!! The hare pointed us in the right direction and we were all off again. Across the road and up alongside the quarry. At the long - short split Woodpecker decided to show the group the guile and experience to be gained after 40 years hashing by taking the short. "Where are you going?" Spocky asked as he ran past. "You're doing the long Woodpecker!"

It was soon across the road, through the woods and out into the open common. Now note - that's through the woods and into the open common!! So Dr Jekyll...why wait until you're in the middle of the open common to decide you need a pee? A long jog back to the woods for the required comfort break.

A bit further on and the hash took in some lovely views down over the resevoir (so good we all get to see it again next week!). We sensed it couldn't be far to the sweetie stop and the hare did not let us down. Blobhoblin had hiden the sweets (including homemade coconut ice) in the near-by foliage. The hashers hunted eagerly, including new boy Dave. Dave excitably held aloft a blue plastic bag, but alas on this occasion we can safely say there was more 'excrement' than excitment as the hashers collectively declined Dave's chocolate fudge.

Sweets devoured and time for a quick hash flash and the hare sent us on our way. On On!

Up over the hill (no reference intended to our senior hashers) and the trail led everyone down a tiny track. A few of the back markers were given some not so helpfully directions by the co-hare Twin Peaks. "Go right, go right" shouted the helpful Twin Peaks....whilst waving her arm frantically to the left. It doesn't take a lot to confuse these hashers but this was indeed a good effort Miss Peaks! Bewilderment over the hash continued and away down the hill raced Paperwork...that'll be the wrong way down the hill. Called back the front runners were now closing down the walkers but not before Spocky, with Itzy on his back, reached the first fish-hook. On to a regroup and then the hash lost the trail and spread out across the clearing. Cunning work by the hare had slowed the hash down but X-Bitz and Fruity were not to be fooled and cries of "On On" were heard from in the woods, as they then proceeded to front run all the way to the next regroup.

Not far to go now, but just enough time for Brains to demonstarte to Dr Jekyll how one should spend a penny whilst on a hash (well it cost her 10 pennies actually as the deputy sherrif was watching - not literally of course!). Brains had found the only portaloo on the common. And from here it was On Home and back to the car park.

A very good hash Blobhoblin and you organised some great weather. We did miss an opportunity to name new boy Dave....I propose Doggy Bag. Let's hope he returns. Next week just around the corner at Squabmoor. And whilst we're doing promos Radiohead and Stat-Nav are hares for the Devon A to B on the 24th April starting at Otterton going to a mystery location. Everyone welcome and it would be good to see you there.

On On

4th April - Joneys Cross - Tampa

23 hashers gathered in the spring sunshine and the wintry wind! It was noted that Tampa was on time for the hash for the 2nd week running. The same could not be said for Woodpecker who arrived at 7 minutes past....exactly. Tampa was also keen to point out that he'd managed to keep his feet dry thoughout laying the hash, then promptly stepped in quite a large puddle much to Spockys amusement, but that wasn't half as funny as when Spocky then stepped back into aforementioned puddle!
The hare gave us our instructions which today included a health and safety notice, the ground was so dry there must no smoking on the hash. It was also 3 and on, with no sweeties however the Easter bunny had visited.
We were pointed in the direction of 'on to check' but the all set off in the wrong direction. This was where Radiohead was to perform his first cheat of the day, he followed a false trail and and instead of coming back to follow the others he just waited at the check he'd found.Once everyone else started to catch up, he shot of into the distance only to lead everyone down to a back check so we all came back up the hill where the walkers and hare were still waiting. On their return the cunning hare sent them down the parallel path, to the bewilderment of everyone, he'd done the same thing again!
Woodpecker having caught everyone up was calling everyone on on from the front, not bad at his age.....but we're not allowed to mention his age. Over the road and down the hill to the first long short split of the day. Dr Jekyll set off on the long and fell in a bog up to her knees. On the shorts Up Yours and Flour Power ran past Stat Nav exclaining how fit they must be as they'd never overtaken him before. He was doing a bit of weight training today however with an extra stone and more strapped to him. While the shorts were checking out, Brains had to cycle back to try and find William who had disappeared, maybe he was chasing Roo again?
Shortly at the sweetie stop we searched for the Easter bunnies hiding place and when we found it were rewarded with all sorts of chocolate goodies. The longs arrived a short time later with Spocky beating Radiohead by a fraction. Itsy Bitz happily played with the stones before smearing mud on Stat Nav, helped by Spocky Bitz....obviously. After a quick hash flash we were sent on a back check all the way to the top of the hill.
On arriving at the road there was another long short split, however, Odd Bitz was telling people that there was a back check at the bottom of the hill so not to bother doing the long. Some fools however, still trotted off down the hill, while Tuned In and X-Bitz blazed the trail at the front! Whilst behind them, Jenny was found to be stipping at the roadside. We think this should probably have led to a naming of Flasher or something similar.
It was nice to see Mr Hyde, Marshall Farts and Tree Creeper back. So nice that Mr Hyde found himself a lovely back check at the bottom of the hill closely followed by Isosceles. On back up the hill they plod back onto trail.
Onto the last long short split where Radiohead set off on the short, his excuse being the 'L' for the long looked like a chevron! Because this is a well known hash marking isn't it Radiohead????? After coming across a fish hook he went to the back of the pack and then went on the long aswell.
Meanwhile X-Bitz and Tuned In were seen to be running......UPHILL!!!!!! Soon the 'on home' was called and we all gathered back in the car park, with Woodpecker arriving eventually.
Fines were handed out with Jenny receiving a fine for obedience, with Spocky telling Itsy to call on on but Jenny behind was good enough to do as she was told too. Radiohead got fined for many reasons, cheating mostly. I think William should've been fined for sexual harrassment for licking Roos bum continually.
On On to next week at Frying Pans car park.