25th January - Warren CP - Tampa

A chilly morning up on the common greeted the 20+ hashers that gathered. We were immediately hit with some tragic news and that was the fact that the hare had left the sweets on his kitchen table! However at todays hash we welcomed back Itsy Bitz (and mommy) who we haven't seen for a little while.
The hare called us onto check on the far side of the car park and then drove off to the garage to buy more sweets! It was a sneaky ploy to put the check on the far side of the car park as we eventually found the trail back over the other side! Confused....we were!
On On down the hill only to find at the next check that Chad, Howling Wilf and Stat Nav had run through a back check so we weren't onto check at all! This was only pointed out to us by Spocky Bitz who was walking while carrying Itsy Bitz so on back we went to try and find the trail again.
Up the hill we went only for Odd Bitz to turn around and come back toward us, but he kept telling us to keep coming! We then came across another back check, naughtty sheriff! Leading us astray like that! At the top of the hill poor old X-Bitz looked to be suffering a bit. Was it her chest infections she's been fighting of late??? 'Was it 'eck as like', more likely to do with the 2 bottles of red wine she'd drunk the night before!!! Good standards!
After performing a big loop we eventually made our way back to the check we got to by mistake! From here we climbed over the gate into the woods and along the path which Tuned In soon found out was very boggy......and Chesty being so close behind, found out too!
After another check we headed out onto the path running parallel to the woods. It was here Chad was frantically called on back by the hare for 'daring' to use the main track to run on rather than the little path. It soon became apparent why, because after another back check we took the higher track and went up to the sweetie stop. Luckily the hare and the sweets were back with us so tangfastics and allsorts we did eat! It was at the sweetie stop Finn was heard to say that he'd already fallen over twice this morning! But in true hash fashion he'd picked himself up and off he went again!
Off we set again up hill and down dale before arriving at another regroup where the sweets came out again....I like this 2 sweetie stop idea! As we were all waiting at the regroup some people further ahead were calling on on. Who were these people we asked??? Do we know them??? It turned out to be Dynamo, Swooner and her partner who had arrived late and couldn't follow the trail so waited where they had found it! Off we set on the long short split with only a handful of us on the long. True to form, Howling Wilf consistently went the wrong way, still, it kept us all together nicely. After a false trail down a very large hill, we headed back uphill only to arrive at a fish hook at the top of a long old hill! Well it was worth the 10p fine to not bother going back to the hare! From here it was on home back up to the car park.
At the hash circle, Groucho gave out more information on the Autumn Gathering 2009! Also, fines were handed out....mostly to Tuned In it seemed! For calling the hare a fatherless child for his extensive use of back checks, for ignoring the last fish hook (well worth the 10p), for referring to Radiohead as Mark although it's been so long since he came hashing I'm not entirely sure I know who you mean??? I personally think it's a stitch up! Beth was fined for paying her subs then offering another pound for todays run! I think Spocky should be fined for not taking it! On On to Core Copse, East Hill Strips next week. According to the hare, the directions are..... coming from Ottery, turn right onto East Hill Strips at the top of the hill, Core Copse is about 1/3 of the way down this road (but how long is the road???) on the left hand side. I think that's what he told me anyway!!!!! Just don't blame me if you get lost!

18th January - Poachers Inn, Ide - Blobhoblin

Another fine turnout for todays hash in some lesser hashed territory, 27 hashers I think! We even had a hash virgin or two! We received instructions from Blobhoblin who thanked Groucho for assisting him, otherwise we wouldn't have finished til next Sunday and he would still be out laying it. Were we in for 'extreme hashing' today???
We set off out of the car park onto a check and Spocky and Stat Nav checked uphill while Slipshod checked downhill. On down hill it was and we were off to a flying start....almost quite literally for Carol and Tuned In with the 2 Millies pulling hard!
Onto another check where Isosceles shot off on what we eventually found out was the correct trail. This found us our first fish hook of the day, where Beth, Finn and Spocky got caught out, one of Spockys first....he ended up doing all of them.....nutter!
We emerged out onto a country lane where we ran down around the lane until we came to a hash halt. It was here Fruity Bitz decided to 'powder her nose' behind the hedge but Odd Bitz thought it was too good an opportunity to miss and took a photo.
Further on around the lanes to another check where Spocky, Stat Nav and Odd Bitz set off checking. It was here that Slipshod tried to cast aspertions upon Fruity, Tuned In and Twin Peaks, suggesting we might be loitering....oh the cheek! While Spocky and Odd Bitz came back Stat Nav was nowhere to be seen or heard....it would transpire he was stopped chatting up, sorry....chatting to, a lady walking her two dogs. Eventually the hare told us which way it was, due to the poor calling from Stat Nav!
On On to the next hash halt where names for our unnamed hashers began their discussions. There were some very dubious suggestions being bandied around...what on earth would they end up being called???? The trail was called on up the huge hill through the field, which provided beautiful views once at the top, even if you couldn't breathe once you were there!
Out onto the country lanes again for a nice long stretch with a couple more fish hooks onto the sweetie stop. While consuming jaffa cakes and fruit pastilles we had a lovely view over Exeter and the fields around.
On on down the hill for another nice long stretch where the hare had sneakily put 2 or 3 fish hooks! Twin Peaks was spotted tying her shoelaces a number of times......was she trying to avoid the fish hooks I wonder??
At the bottom of the hill was another regroup next to the brook where the hare had obviously taken pity on us and the trail was laid on the path not indicating through the brook. This didn't stop some keen/mad hashers including, Pony Wire, Slipshod, Beth and Spocky who amongst a few others chose to run through the brook anyway!
We had arrived back in the village at this point but the trail took us back away from the village in a big loop out and around. There was a regroup at the bottom of the hill then it was on up.... and up and up and up! On the brow of the hill the trail took us right into the fields, it was here that the weightlifting competion began! All of the stiles had been carefully fenced up so at each one the dogs had to be lifted over! This caused hash tailbacks and also meant a few hashers were distinctly muddier than some!
After the 5th stile the 'Millies' were used to the drill and happily waited to be lifted up and over. After 2 more stiles(!!!!!) we emerged back onto the main road of the village and made our way on home to the pub.
At the hash circle Swooner got a down down for admitting to the RA, quite innocently, that she was wearing lovely new shoes! Obviously the down down was drunk from the said shoe!
We also had a naming for two of our hashers, Carol was named Ringpiece, due to the very fetching gold hoop earrings she always wears. Gabriel was named Lot'o'bottle or LOB as she is never seen without her water bottle.
The pink handbag had two contenders, Fruity Bitz for child abuse, stopping when approaching a fish hook and letting poor young Finn overtake her and get stuck doing the fish hook. Or, Stat Nav for coveting the bag. While Slipshod was trying to lift JC over one of the stiles, Stat Nav was eagerly offering to take the handbag from him.... too eagerly we think?! Slipshod settled on Fruity Bitz as the child abuse was the more serious crime of the day.
Fines were handed to Geronimo for daring to be looking at a map on a hash!!! You're not orienteering now you know! Beth for driving into the wrong pub car park. Up Yours for telling her there was only one pub in Ide. Spocky Bitz for trying to emulate Radiohead by running like a lunatic for the entire hash and wearing a sweat bag, otherwise known as a mac, to try and be as thin as Radiohead.
Then we went in the pub for a drink! Lovely.
On On to Warren CP, Woodbury Common next week.

11th January - Upton Pyne - Groucho + Twin Peaks

It was windy and rather chilly in Upton Pyne Village CP this morning but a fair number of hashers still braved it.

Spocky Bitz enjoyed taking peoples money in his new position as treasurer, with his very efficient looking folder.

We set off out of the car park down the hill shortly reaching the first check then quickly to the next one where the loitering began. Eventually we were called on and the pack spread out as we set off through the village. We spread out in the field trying to find the trail, but only succeeded in finding some raw sewage, helpfully pointed out by Chad....nice!

On finding the trail again we set off shortly coming to the first regroup where we then set off on the long/ short split. The long taking in a big loop around the country lane before coming back through another field, meeting up with the shorts again in the next field. On to another regroup where we headed off into a pig field! The dogs seemed to enjoy this more than the humans, all those lovely smells to roll in! JC looking distinctly different in colour to when we started. At the edge of this field we had the sweetie stop, wine gums and liquorice allsorts....lovely. We were also treated to a lovely display performed by little Millie and JC........is this what they call 'dogging'?????? But there wasn't a car park in sight???

On to a check at the bottom of the field where Tuned In accrued her fine for checking in a very lax manner! This involved standing on the other side of the gate until on was called in the other direction! Made perfect sense if you ask me!

Stat Nav set off at the front this time only to get to the next fish hook first, along with Chad and Tuned In. This seemed to be the only time the hare was actually right at the back. On to another regroup where we set off on the country lane with a couple more fish hooks to be found. A photo opportunity presented itself at the next regroup, then we set off again to the end of the road.

At this check Groucho helpfully decided to tell us to 'check it out that way'! That narrows that down then!! Up the big hill we went before going through a field of sheep and onto the next long/short split which wasn't very long at all, though very hard work with mud laden feet.

At the next regroup we were treated to a little story by Howling Wilf, from his student days and some typically bloke behaviour!

From here we went up through the forest and back into the village toward the On Home.

At the hash circle, Slip Shod, or Chip Shop as our sheriff kept calling him, received a down down as it was his 40th birthday, so in true hash fashion we sang Happy Birthday to him in truly a appalling manner. He was also awarded the pink hand bag by Up Yours as she couldn't think of anyone else who had earned it.

Fines were handed out, although I still think the Sheriff should be fined for those indecent trousers of his! It's a family hash don't you know?? It was also announced that after a long time Howling Wilf is now in credit for fines after paying a lump sum last week.

On On to next week at The Poachers Inn, Ide. We can park in their car park but please park at the far end as you drive in.

4th January - Four Firs, Woodbury Common - Tampa

Todays hash was a record turnout with 32 hashers arriving! The whole hash set off with the front runners calling on on only to be called back by the hare as apparently they had found a later part of the trail! On finding the correct trail we let the front runners check it out and headed off up the track. Only to have a lot of lingering at the next check where we had a bit of trouble finding the trail, it wouldn't be the first time today! We seemed to be going round in circles! Further down this track was the first of many fish hooks of the day. This was where the Tuned In got fined for innocently stopping to take photographs, thus avoiding the fish hook.

From here the trail went round in what felt like more circles. On On we were called, with Radiohead coming back from yet another fish hook, but he didn't run up past us again, he was lingering??? Now why would that be? Back check was soon called and we picked up the trail down the steep path. 3 fish hooks later we all arrived at the top of the quarry to find the hare telling us to go one way, but a hasher calling on on in the other direction....what was going on? Who knew? Another 2-3 fish hooks later when almost everyone had arrived atop the hill the other side of the quarry, backcheck was called again and we were on on where the hasher had been calling before! At the bottom of the hill we arrived at the sweetie stop. Haribo and Jelly Babies, perfect!

On was called up the huge hill with a few cynics lurking at the back of the pack and sure enough, another back check at the top of the hill. Through the boggy grasses and out onto the path again sent the FRB's uphill to yet more fish hooks and yet another back check. At the next hash halt we elected a 'childrens check' so we duly sent them off checking. Up Yours was heard to reply to her childrens calls of 'we haven't found anything', 'well keep going then!' Rules with a rod of iron that one!! One other poor young hasher was assured by Radiohead where the trail was only to have sent him entirely the wrong direction! Children of the hash, if you need the number for ChildLine it is: 0800 1111.

From here we made our way uphill again and crossed the road to the model airfield car park with a nice long stretch of running, to which Tail Lamp enthusiatically said, 'I could do with a good gallop'! Did he mistake himself for a horse one wonders???

We arrived at the On Home and crossed back over the road into the car park.

The pink handbag was going to be awarded to the hare for excessive use of fish hooks/back checks but as he'd already been fined for this, Howling Wilf awarded it to Up Yours for complaining that the bag ought to be carried and not attached to a belt!

Fines were given out to start off our drink fund for this years Christmas hash. Tuned In for bad language, even though all she said was bugger and to all that know her will understand that this was merely a customary greeting! Also for fish hook avoidance. Also fined were Twin Peaks, Up Yours, Howling Wilf and Tampa. The lesser spotted Woodpecker was given a down down as he was awarded the 'Whadda Hash' trophy and was duly heckled all through his speech.

A reminder to all who haven't paid subs, it's £20 per person or £30 per family.

On On to Upton Pyne next week.