Saturday, February 19

13th February - Four Firs CP - Tampa

6th February - Peak Hill CP - Woodpecker
A fair number turned out for this windy (no - not a relic of the Christmas Brussels Sprouts) hash hosted by the inimitable Woodpecker. Indeed we were pleased to see three virgin hashers appear: Chris, Harriet and Erin as well as a full-house from the Up Yours clan (and a very big car parking space was found for them too so luckily no massive car pile ups this time round).
Groucho duly welcomed the gathered crowd before handing us over to Woodpecker for the day's instructions. We were to be treated to both a normal hash and a walkers hash. He did use other expletives to describe anything beginning with a "W" but deference to the virgin hashers prevents me from repeating such utterances! Anyhow the trail was in flour on the right, 3 and on, and first 5 for the fishhooks (as hashers couldn't be counted on to count any higher) but no long-shorts.
Just as we were sent on our way did we realise that there was no sheriff! Where could he be? Well in Stat Nav's absence Twin Peaks duly accepted the honour - a harsh lady indeed!
Across the road we went following the trail and were duly knocked back by the gale force winds coming in from the sea. We zigged zagged our way towards some shelter or trees and gorse where confusion reigned as hashers looked in vain for the trail - was it down the cliff? or maybe into the bush? Neither in fact as the trail was called on on alongside the coastal path. There followed a downward plunge into a little valley before climbing the hill again into the trees.
It was at this point that Stat Nav decided that he would, after all, make an appearance for the day and reclaimed his sheriffing duties for the morning. He was huffing and puffing a fair bit so we shall just have to wonder as to the reasons for his tardiness.
Some rather cunning backchecks were put in place to make us march up and down the hill although this was promptly ignored by Up Yours who, at the back of the course, could see a nice easy (and flat) way along the trail. Through the undergrowth we went before finding our way eventually to the regroup.
Well it seemed like an age at this regroup and no sign of the hare. This was not the first time Woodpecker had seemed to take an age to find the gathered crowd - he had form from the Boxing Day hash where he went off on his own for a while. We thought that today at least he should be able to find his own trail but several minutes passed before the hare came into view. Where he had been shall remain a mystery only he will know!
The trail was called on through a farm not long after having to heave our four-legged friends across a fixed and rickety gate. Past the farmer we went (he was the right one this time) and cross the field and up a rather long climb to the sweety stop. A fine selected of proper bagged sweets was passed round and enjoyed by all.
This is the point at which the group split asunder with walkers going one way and the proper hashers going the other. The writer unfortunately joined the walkers so missed all the frolicking and gallivanting of the proper hashers, the only noteworthy event being Puss in Boots startling a couple of white tailed deer from the undergrowth and sending them scurrying past the trail.
Onto the trail proper we joined the group and on home we arrived.
The usual fines for misdemeanours was handed round, the Sheriff having the honour to fine himself first for his lateness. There was then a naming ceremony for Dan whose name is now "Jerry Springer" in honour of his bunny hops down the paths.
Well that's all for this week - on-on to the next hash at Four Firs, Tampa as hare!

Sunday, February 13

6th February - Peak Hill CP, Sidmouth - Woodpecker

6th February - Peak Hill CP - Woodpecker
A fair number turned out for this windy (no - not a relic of the Christmas Brussels Sprouts) hash hosted by the inimitable Woodpecker. Indeed we were pleased to see three virgin hashers appear: Chris, Harriet and Erin as well as a full-house from the Up Yours clan (and a very big car parking space was found for them too so luckily no massive car pile ups this time round).
Groucho duly welcomed the gathered crowd before handing us over to Woodpecker for the day's instructions. We were to be treated to both a normal hash and a walkers hash. He did use other expletives to describe anything beginning with a "W" but deference to the virgin hashers prevents me from repeating such utterances! Anyhow the trail was in flour on the right, 3 and on, and first 5 for the fishhooks (as hashers couldn't be counted on to count any higher) but no long-shorts.
Just as we were sent on our way did we realise that there was no sheriff! Where could he be? Well in Stat Nav's absence Twin Peaks duly accepted the honour - a harsh lady indeed!
Across the road we went following the trail and were duly knocked back by the gale force winds coming in from the sea. We zigged zagged our way towards some shelter or trees and gorse where confusion reigned as hashers looked in vain for the trail - was it down the cliff? or maybe into the bush? Neither in fact as the trail was called on on alongside the coastal path. There followed a downward plunge into a little valley before climbing the hill again into the trees.
It was at this point that Stat Nav decided that he would, after all, make an appearance for the day and reclaimed his sheriffing duties for the morning. He was huffing and puffing a fair bit so we shall just have to wonder as to the reasons for his tardiness.
Some rather cunning backchecks were put in place to make us march up and down the hill although this was promptly ignored by Up Yours who, at the back of the course, could see a nice easy (and flat) way along the trail. Through the undergrowth we went before finding our way eventually to the regroup.
Well it seemed like an age at this regroup and no sign of the hare. This was not the first time Woodpecker had seemed to take an age to find the gathered crowd - he had form from the Boxing Day hash where he went off on his own for a while. We thought that today at least he should be able to find his own trail but several minutes passed before the hare came into view. Where he had been shall remain a mystery only he will know!
The trail was called on through a farm not long after having to heave our four-legged friends across a fixed and rickety gate. Past the farmer we went (he was the right one this time) and cross the field and up a rather long climb to the sweety stop. A fine selected of proper bagged sweets was passed round and enjoyed by all.
This is the point at which the group split asunder with walkers going one way and the proper hashers going the other. The writer unfortunately joined the walkers so missed all the frolicking and gallivanting of the proper hashers, the only noteworthy event being Puss in Boots startling a couple of white tailed deer from the undergrowth and sending them scurrying past the trail.
Onto the trail proper we joined the group and on home we arrived.
The usual fines for misdemeanours was handed round, the Sheriff having the honour to fine himself first for his lateness. There was then a naming ceremony for Dan whose name is now "Jerry Springer" in honour of his bunny hops down the paths.
Well that's all for this week - on-on to the next hash at Four Firs, Tampa as hare!

Saturday, February 5

30th January - Core Hill Copse, East Hill Strips - Chip Shop + Up Yours

Well the merry band of hashers gathered to brave another cold and windy day. After some initial suicidal tendencies of Wellie the dog providing fun and games for passing petrols the group circled up in a somewhat dazed fashion to begin the day's briefings. Just as Groucho was launching into his sermon for the day did Dr. Jekyll turn up nearly mowing the band down as she came in. No sooner that than Woodpecker decided to make a somewhat spectacular entrance with wheel-spins and slipping and sliding around the car park - driving skills indeed!

We were without our appointed sheriff for the day so Twin Peaks ready came to the fore and volunteered her services. Concern was also expressed over the food and drinks (well beer) given Spocky wasn't there either. However Larks Vomit said he had 6 bottles of beer in his car (why?) and the thought occurred to us whether there was going be another spiritual event of turning 6 bottles into 6000 - it wasn't to be sadly as Dr. Jekyll appeared with the crates of food and drink.

Two virgin hashers were welcomed to the motley bunch, everyone on their best behaviour not to put them off too soon! Onto the hares' instructions - duly welcoming Up Yours in her virginal capacity as such. Trail in flour, 3 and on, backchecks to the last three, fishhooks for the first 3 and 3 long-shorts.

Down to the woods we went following some sneaky trails and backchecks this way and that. On arriving at the main path confusion began to set in as the hashers searched in vain for the trail - was it in the woods, was it down or up the path. One of the hares suggested one route but no trail! Oh dear oh dear! Some in-fighting broke out between the hares but all was resolved without any blood being drawn (not that blood wasn't drawn later!). Well all was not lost and we continued along the trail back into the woods for the first long-short. Thence the trail led on through a path with a rather vertiginous fall to one side but nice views through the trees and onto the first regroup.

By this stage the day's exertions were beginning to take their toll on a few hashers, not least a couple of the younger players. So Up Yours took them by the hand and, Hans and Gretel like took them down a short cut. Would we ever see them again we wondered? Dr. Jekyll and Sorepoint demonstrated their powers of observation by going down a false trail and missing the cross so they ended up on a rather long check. So as on-on was called we galloped down the trail the sun beginning to warm our chilled bodies.

What goes down must come back up again at some point and this was no exception. Down the hill only to reverse and come back up it again. Those brave enough to do the next long-short were treated to another down and up affair and then treated to yet another down towards the river where the sweety stop awaited.

There was some relief expressed at this point as the Hansel and Gretel story did not manifest itself with Up Yours appearing with the children - sweets always seem a good incentive!

The need for sun was overwhelming for some and the regroup was moved along a 100 yards or so just to get supplies of Vitamin D topped up a little; well we can't imagine it would have been to get a tan at this time of year! Sweets abounded with chocolate bars and liquorice allsorts etc for everyone to have their fill. No sooner had the sugar rush abated than two visions of splendour came into view: Tuned In and Horny Woman had caught us up! Well what more excuse did the hashers need than to tuck right back into the sweets again and catch up with the news the new arrivals brought from the outside world.

We couldn't stand around for too long as not even the sun could keep the chill wind at bay so on we went back up the hill again. It was at this point that the hashers were beginning to wonder whether they had entered a war zone as gunshots could be overheard very close by indeed! Were we welcome, were we trespassing or would they think we were bright pink clay pigeons? Well into the trees we ducked for cover and glad to be away from those loud bangers.

On home we galloped ready to tuck into the food and drink provided by Dr. Jekyll. Fines were aplenty this week with no misdemeanour left - Twin Peaks is clearly no to be messed!

On on to the next hash 6 February 2011 - Mutters Moor car park, Woodpecker as hare. Woodpecker also invited the group to join him at the Bowd Inn (outside Sidmouth) for lunch. That pub was chosen as the road from Otterton will be closed so hashers will need to detour round Sidmouth to get to/from the trail.

23rd January - Warren CP, Woodbury Common - Tampa

A cold morning greeted the pack as they slowly emerged from the warmth of their vehicles awaitng to arrival of our hare Tampa accompanied by his trusty dog Ben. Once the circle was formed we were informed of a hash virgin who was amongst us, Twin Peaks son-in-law introduced himself as Dan, that name won't last for too long. Tampa then explained the various bits to do with his trail, Oddbitz was asked to be Deputy Sheriff and what a splendid job we weree sure he would do.
Within minutes of setting off came the first of several long/shorts the first one splitting the pack in half. Baglady set the pace for the shorts so much so she was seen running back not because dropping something but because of a fish-hook., what shame ! However not to be out done Tail-Lamp also encountered this fish-hook, his first fish-hook since 2005 rumour has it, how come he managed to avoid them for so long ! Our virgin hasher Dan was led astray by mother in law Twin Peaks poor lad had to do a series of fish-hooks, has he now been put off hashing for life ! Once at the sweet stop the pack were involved in a "search and rescue" situation trying to find the sweets, I'm pleased to report that they were eventually found and devoured by the pack in record time. Two hashers in the shape of Tail-Lamp and Woodpecker decided to go on an un-authorised checking expedition whilst the pack were munching their sweets before being told to check it out by the hare, they were of course both fined. Once off the pack viewed new Warren terrain, Tampa's favourite place, most of us are convinced he would live there if he could. Anyway back to the plot, our first real venture into some new woodland appeared before us and very nice it was too, the longs venturing deeper into the wood for a short time whilst the shorts plodded on towards the general direction of car park from where we started an hour earlier skirting the edge of the same wood. The final leg of the hash involved a steep climb were our cunning hare had laid a series of fish-hooks, how cruel can hare be, see Tampa for details.
Once at the finish we all had the usual refreshments from the Spocky-mobile before fines were given via Oddbitz our deputy, Tail-Lamp was given the pink hand bag and matching pink "t" shirt for several sins on the hash by the previous handbag carrier Dr Jeykll. Woodpecker made an appeal for someone to help him lay his trail at Mutters Moor, can anyone help ?
Groucho asked anyone is prepared to sign the online "SAVE OUR FORESTS" petition as many currently owned by the Forestry Commission may be sold to private individuals or groups.
Next week the hash will start from Core Copse East Hill Strips Hare Slipshod