HAVE YOU SEEN THESE MEN?

THEY HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE LOCAL ASSYLUM!

LAST SEEN DRINKING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF

ALCOHOL IN THE COWLEY BRIDGE AREA OF

EXETER. DO NOT APPROACH!!!! THEY ARE

DANGEROUS. ONE WILL BE WEARING GREEN TIGHTS,

THE OTHER IS SLIGHTLY UNSTEADY ON HIS FEET.

IF SIGHTED CALL FOR BACK UP IMMEDIATELY!

14th December 2008 - Howling Wilf - East Hill Strips

Another well attended hash despite the freezing conditions. We started off with a bit of 'hash pot luck' as no-one knew which car park we were starting from. However, everyone seemed to be there, including again Dirt Band and No Name from Otter Valley.
The hare arrived back from laying the trail looking suitably worn out, an energetic trail maybe??? Hash instructions were 1 and on, long short splits but no fish hooks today as Wilf doesn't approve of them! Is that right!!
On over the road to the first check where Chad headed off on the correct trail so off we set at what appeared to be a rate of knots! Maybe it was just the red wine consumed the night before that made it feel that way! Never mind, at least I turned up!!! Groucho, Tail Lamp you pair of lightweights....call yourselves hashers?
The trail was very muddy but at times very scenic too, nice to see some slightly less familiar territory aswell.
After crossing back over the road, we came upon the first long short split, which was a lovely stretch out through lots of mud. With Spocky, Chad and Radiohead out in front it was kept at quite a brisk pace too. Welly did his best to slow down Tuned In by running into her leg, ouch, but luckily she struggled on!
On finally arriving at the sweetie stop we tucked into fruit pastilles and liquorice allsorts, handed out by a mini hasher. While we'd been there for about 10 minutes there didn't seem to be much sign of many of the shorts so we set off again, uphill! Ug!
Here we had a good long stretch of uphill running which brought us to a fish hook! Yes, the ones that the hare doesn't believe in! A very mean one too, at the top of this hill. Off went Radiohead, Spocky, Dirt Band, Chad and Tuned In.
From here we went through the forest, across the road again and reached the on home at the top of the hill.
The sheriff concluded it was a fine free week this week, all to be revealed next week at the hash awards. However, the deputy sheriff had her suspicions that the only reason this was to be the case was because the sheriff was wearing new shoes! So his fine has been postponed until the new 'fines financial year'.
We had a naming of a new hasher. Due to her gleaming trainers she was going to be named Dazzler or some such name, however, on her arrival in the hash circle she was called Scarf-face which we all thought was funnier and was agreed this would be her name. Welcome Scarf-face. On On to next weeks Christmas hash with post hash frivolities in The Imperial, Exeter. Fancy dress encouraged.

7th December - Spocky Bitz - Knowle Village CP

A lovely frosty winters day with 15 brave hashers all ready for the off. Spockybitz did the business whilst X-bitz was left holding the baby. Within 100m we were greeted by a long short split only three of us did the short, me, Groucho, being one of them due to my body batteries being very flat indeed. Spockybitz had arranged for us to be watched by numerous horses plus riders as we plodded on our way running at times through what seemed like treacle or in this case trekacle.
Whilst on our wandering the sheriff was hard at work with his little black book noting any hash crimes, of which there were several. First to be punished was Tail lamp who upon reaching a back check asked how many had to go back. The hare was next to be spotted by the law maker for not setting the trail as per brief ie 3 blobs and on only to four blobs then false trail. On - on several occasion persons seemed to drift into some sort of memory lapse by forgetting hash names and preferring to their public names, Chesty mentioning someone called James, who the hell is James? Next both Tampa and Emerald mentioned a person called Roger unless they had two way radios and they were rogering and out. Not to be out done Brains was heard from behind a hedge that she wanted to get her leg over, bearing in mind how cold it was, this out burst came as something of a surprise until we all spotted a bike with Brains trying to adjust her personage. Once at the sweet stop THE HARE gave us hungry hashers some peanuts and chocolate bars before telling us that the trail was now only one and on.
Eventually after 80 minutes of muddy hashing we arrived back at base where upon the sheriff collected fines from the law breakers.One virgin hasher was named but his name escapes me but the was an electrical connection. Watch this space.
Note from ed: I am concerned to hear any talk of rogering on the hash!!!!!!!

30th November - Tampa - Pine Ridge

Another well turned out hash, well, the hashers weren't well turned out, they looked like the usual riff raff, I mean there were lots of them! We also welcomed Dirt Band and No Name from OVH3 and Ullage from Isca. We set off in entirely the wrong direction as usual and bimbled around until we found the correct trail past a freezer!! We encountered a very steep bank which tried its hardest to claim a few hashers and looking at bottoms later, it looked like it succeded. The trail then led us over the bike ramps, which a few brave hashers took on. The five or six front hashers set off down hill only to find a back check at the end so back up it was.

We ran down past the side of the quarry and around in a very sneaky loop which some hashers at the back performed a spectacular short cut and totally missed out. On down and over the road to the first regroup. Spocky did a marvellous impression of a lamp post, so good in fact that one of the dogs decided to pee up his leg...nice! Setting off on a long short split meeting again at the sweetie stop which the longs actually arrived at first for a change. Wine gums and jelly babies were consumed then on into the nature reserve.

More obstacles to overcome in here, 2 very slippery logs over the bogs, luckily no casualties. Again, there were many hashers that cheated and went around the other way, but they all got fined for that!

On through the nature reserve and again discovered some lesser known hash territory. We then set back up the hill towards the car where I'm certain there was some cheating going on as there were a couple of fish hooks but only 1 or 2 returning hashers. OH was called and on arriving back in the car park who should be there but the lesser spotted Exton Woodpecker. After receiving comments regarding his formal attire at the last hash he visited he turned up this time in a very fetching turquoise shell suit!

The hash circle was short and sweet with only a couple of fines being mentioned albeit to almost the entire group. We then went off to the AGM where a disappointing amount of alcohol was consumed and we discussed all the people that weren't there! Topics included, annual fees, 2009 away weekend and should Groucho still be the GM? Obviously, being that he does such a fab job, we all said yes! It was also voted that Tampa continues to be beermeister/ hareraiser/ on sec and the other jobs too! Odd Bitz will remain Sheriff and Spocky will be RA when required.

On On to Knowle Village CP next week.