Sunday, November 23

Note from editor

All comments are welcome on the blog. Have I forgotton to include a funny incident? Is a hasher doing something we should all know about? Please feel free to email me and let me know. My email address is listed in 'my profile' on the right hand side towards the bottom of the blog. Thanks.

23rd November - Odd Bitz + Fruity Bitz - Warren CP, Woodbury Common


Once again, a great turnout of hashers on this sunny, if not windy and freezing morning. A slight change of hare, just to keep us on our toes, not Tampa as expected but Odd Bitz who assures us he was ably assisted by Fruity Bitz who was nowhere to be seen. Maybe the trail flummoxed her as it did us as she is still out there somewhere........! Yes, we got off to a roaring start and all wandered around looking gormless for a fair while. Where's Radiohead and Spocky when you need them to check every single route while we wait around?! Eventually, the trail was found the other side of the main road. I think he's trying to conduct a 'hash cull', survival of the fittest, if you can't get across the road safely, you can't hash with us?! Anyway, we all made it only to set off on the wrong trail and found a back check. On eventually finding the correct trail we ended up in what looked like someones garden! With tennis courts, a lake with a lovely bench, hopefully they didn't mind!
After losing trail a couple more times but quickly finding it again, we came across the fish hooks. It would appear today that there were far more law abiding hashers on the trail as there was no cheating on the fish hooks..........or was there!!!! Ha! Ha! You'll never know!!! We emerged from the gorse, yes, it was in abundance today, to stop for the sweetie stop. Good sweetie choice today, fruit pastilles, always a winner, and Haribo. Or, if your name is Millie and you are black and furry, there was a lovely supply of flour to munch on, fresh from the bag!
Once again from the sweetie stop we wandered around aimlessly, eventually being called on over the M5, sorry, main road. It would then appear not everyone has quite mastered the '3 and on' concept as a stray group of hashers all shot off in the wrong direction, downhill too, ha ha. The wise old hashers didn't follow as they were watching the hare who made no move to follow them. Not all hashers are as stupid as they look! Well, not always anyway.
On On up the hill and onto the long/short split which brought us back around to meet the trail again, then on up towards the on home.
Hash fines were dished out by the deputy sheriff wearing was looked like a yellow duvet cover! One assumes the hash haberdash slightly overestimated the size of the deputy!!!! Up Yours was fined for using her husbands nerd name instead of his new hash name, Shit Slot, sorry, I mean, Slip Shod. The hare was fined for failing to inform dog owners about the M5 crossing. Also fined for inappropriate use of a back check. Stat Nav and Chad were fined for being a bit stupid as he said as they did the long split and came back to the trail to come across the split again, so off they set on the long again, going round in circles. I'm sure he was joking, but he was still stupid enough to tell this story to the Deputy, so they got fined anyway!
Thanks to the hare for finding some new ground, we thought we'd covered every inch of woodbury common, well done.
On On to Pines Ridge next week.

Sunday, November 16

16th November - Emerald + Geronimo - Four Firs


Spectacular turn out for the hash today with well over 20 people as well as lots of dogs and children. Emerald and Geronimo reappeared just on time to provide hash instructions. We were told it was one and on, fish hooks were 5 if no number could be seen. Yes, these were our clear instructions, though it transpired we had a fair amount of deaf hashers in our midst!!
On On we went out of the car park and quickly to the first check. Tuned In got lucky, (not like that!!!), and for the next 3 checks was way out in front. Well with Radiohead AWOL she had to do her bit! It's ok though, it didn't last! It was then Odd Bitz' turn to shout On On at the top of his lungs only for no-one to hear him. We then encountered our first shiggy, down a narrow path that was VERY boggy. Luckily, the path emerged at the marines 'dunking pools' so we were able to wash our shoes there. On up to another check where Tuned In spotted Spocky with Itsy and cunningly thought 'aha, I bet it's this way', only to find the first fish hook of the day!
On then to our first regroup, when all had arrived Emerald instructed us to check it out, so as we scattered Odd Bitz bellowed at us all, 'it's a hash halt here', another demonstration of a deaf hasher! From here on the trail took an interesting twist, a distinct lack of flour! None and on as Geronimo said. We did manage to keep the trail yet Odd Bitz declined to do the fish hook saying he couldn't read how many it was for......what were the hash instuctions?! Naughty sheriff!
On to another regroup and finally on to the sweetie stop, almost missed because the only flour to be seen looked like a long/short split. Here we had fruit pastilles and some dubious maltesers! I'm not entirely sure where ROGERRRR had been storing these on the way round, I think it's safe to say they'd got a little warm!
Off we set on the long/short split which proved very interesting due to the none and on rule that had been applied by the hares. However, with a little guidance and calling from Emerald we made it back round to meet up with the shorts on the big hill! After one back check we found our way to the On Home.
In the hash circle we handed out plenty of fines, not least to the sheriff for his hearing disability and other cheating misdemeanors! We then had a naming ceremony for Up Yours' husband, who slipped over because he was wearing shoes that looked almost polished on the soles. He was names Slipshod. However, a few rebel hashers, due to the deafness issue prevailent today and a bit of verbal dyslexia (have I spelt that right?) thought it was shit slot! I know which I thought was funnier!
On On to Warren CP next week

Sunday, November 9

9th November - Bullers Hill CP - Groucho + Twin Peaks


We had 20 'biting at the bit' hashers today, two guests in the shape of Poacher and Rambo. Poacher arrived and prompty started offering cabbages to everyone, perhaps he was trying to tell us something? Woodpecker made an appearance, said hi, to which the circle said hi and then he left. Get well soon Mr Woodpecker.
Three women hashers of the new variety also appeared, which made me then think of that famous line from Radiohead "this hash is growing", he could be right.
The pack did not get off to the best start as Tampa decided to park his car over the first check which was of course noted by the Sheriff, he doesn't miss much our Sheriff !
Once the check was spotted, the pack just seem to loiter then for some unknown reason proceeded to act like sheep after one blob had been spotted. This state of affairs went on for a good five minutes until the hares, in the shape of Twin Peaks and Groucho, rescued the rabble and sent them on their way. What a shower ! Soon, if fact very soon after, Groucho decided to fall in to a pool of mud cutting his hand but scoring 9.90 for his techique even though he had cut his hand. Yet not wanting to be left out of things Tail-lamp got in on the act with a wonderful back slide on a steep slope, which helps, god knows what he will be like if ever we have snow, anyway Miss Twin Peaks just stood back, I'm not sure whether she was admiring his action or filled with horror. Poacher as usual always seemed to find the back arrows, but developed a thing for Miss Peaks, the other hare, giving her long hugs, with Miss Peaks on several occasions on her way to heaven, well being lifted on the ground anyway.
Once we reached the sweetie stop we observed the two minutes silence which the hares
forgot to tell us to do before setting off. Talking of sweets, the offerings today improved with jelly babies, wine gums and fruit pastilles on offer. Then on on once more, the same faces returning to see the hare in the shape of Poacher, Spockybitz, Stat- Nav and Dan, How kind, I thought, of them to check the hares were ok.
Once back at the car park the Sheriff gave out several fines plus one lady hasher was named "Up Yours" which related to a finger injury. Rambo had his special Exeter Chiefs 2009 calendar offer with him, calenders cost £10 the monies going to various named charities.Ask Rambo for details,the content of the calenders is interesting !

Monday, November 3

2nd November - Trenchford Reservoir - Bridgwater H3


A very amusing start to the days hash was Groucho approaching a large group of walkers, presumably checking we were in the right place, wearing what looked like halloween fancy dress! Otherwise described as a very dodgy pair of green tights/leggings. I wonder if he was trying to re-create the 'hash hottie' look sported by Stat Nav on the hash weekend? Unfortunately, I don't think his thighs created the same thoughts amongst the laydees!
It was bitterly cold but a few hardcore C of E hashers turned out for the joint hash along with lots of Bridgwater hash. We set off around the reservoir straight into some shiggy and there was a fair amount of sliding going on. Radiohead was out in front as usual, doing a lot of checking, unfortunately this meant no time to rest for the rest of us as the trail had been called before we even got there. Luckily with quite a few back checks the rest of us were in with a fighting chance. It was quite a long trail for us C of E as it was 3 miles before the sweetie stop, especially those of us that had taken part in the half marathon, sorry, A2B hash, the day before!!! As we gathered at a check, there was a suspicious looking flour mark at the bottom of the hill, either a regroup or a back check, we decided. Was it put there in full view to see just who would be stupid/fit enough to run all the way down there knowing it might be a back check? Step forward Stat Nav! It was indeed a back check. However, half way back up the hill was a track leading down to the much awaited sweetie stop. What a wonderful array of delicacies we had here. Take note please C of E hares!! Midget gems, chocolate buttons, toffees and boiled sweets. I could've stayed all day! It was here we caught up with our hares who appeared like two little gnomes out of the forest.
Off we set again ending up at a check next to a bridge. Radiohead went off checking up hill while the rest of us lurked suspiciously. Whilst waiting for two walkers to cross the bridge, one of them said, 'I don't know what you're looking for, but theres a flour circle over there!' Nice one! We'll check that way then.......On On! A nice even run all the way back up to the car park.
In the car park Paperwork, or paperweight as Groucho kept calling him, gave a few down downs. One to Master Baker for wearing odd shoes during their weekend, one to a relatively new hasher who admitted that this was her first daylight hash, one to Groucho for accosting strange poeple in car parks whilst wearing green tights and one joint down down to ferret and another Bridgwater hasher as they found love on the hash together!!! See Sorepoint for further details! Stat Nav spoke up for C of E and handed out 2 downs downs. One was for Radiohead, who despite being the fastest hasher in the west, came in last! It appeared he missed the last check, came upon the outgoing trail which had been marked with arrows for any latecomers and had set off doing the trail again! Doh! The other was for Tail Lamp who kept doing his best horse impression all the way round the trail!!
Many thanks to the hares, Paperwork, Sorepoint, Ferret and Bangkok for an enjoyable trail.