Wednesday, September 30

27th September - Lympstone Village CP - Stat Nav + Radiohead


Despite the road closed signs that were there just to try and confuse everyone, there was a great turnout in the village car park. We also managed to prove throughout the hash that City Of Exeter H3 is continually growing! As we gained 4 hashers en route!
The hash was treated to no less than 3 hares today, Stat Nav, Radiohead and guest appearance from Mudflap, all the way from Bedford. Though as we circled up Radiohead kept disappearing ....or did he just keep turning sideways??
After lots of loitering by mostly the female contingent, on on was eventually called and the pack headed off into the centre of the village, past the harbour and up into Cliff field. Then onwards past some very bemused children in the play park and down past the church where there was a sneaky fish hook at the bottom of the hill, even poor old Groucho got stuck with this one. Here was a hash halt where Tuned In, X Bitz and Itsy Bitz were waiting. It was here that Cathusalem spotted the walkers and managed to park by the village hall and join the hash.
On On they went up hill and down dale, onto a long /short split which gave the FRB's.........and Sorepoint and Chesty, a chance to stretch their legs. The run along the estuary ended on the foreshore at the sweetie stop. Despite the tide being in, tragedy was narrowly avoided by it being a neap tide. Sweeties were consumed and stones were thrown for dogs with the RSPCA almost having to be called as poor little Millie caught the stone and ended up with a cut lip and a big bump on her nose.
After a lovely stop in the autumn sunshine the trail set off under the railway bridge and cycle path onto Courtlands Estate where the hashers were treated to some spectacular views, not least of which was the sight of Radiohead doing his own fish hooks!! Wierdo! As the pack headed up hill to Courtlands Lane the heat began to have some adverse effects, a mirage appeared in front of the pack......it was John McEnroe followed by his grandad and a groupie! But no, on closer inspection, this was no mirage, it was Stains, Whiplash and Woodpecker heading in the opposite direction!
After a brief chat the pack set off on the East Devon Way with a few strategic fish hooks keeping them together nicely. Back through the brook and Mill field led to the On Home back to the car park.
Deputy Sheriff, Paperwork, handed out fines, lots of which ended up being to himself. Groucho was fined for calling Paperwork, Sorepoint. Radiohead got fined for speeding and all the latecomers were fined too.
After weeks of tormenting by the cheeky boys (Stat Nav and Spocky Bitz), Radiohead had a little surprise for them....it wasn't Lembit Opik! He had entered them both......don't be disgusting.... into the Portland half (Stat Nav) and full (Spocky) marathon. I think Radiohead hopes they will be exercising their leg muscles instead of their mouth muscles for a little while!! On On to the 23rd January 2010 boys.

Thursday, September 24

20th September - Core Copse, East Hill Strips - Dr Jekyll + Mr Hyde


So it was a good show for Dr Jekylls hash, we circled up minus Groucho and Blobhoblin the rumour being they were having a weekend away together, how sweet. Anyway the hare gave us our instructions with the promise of no wet feet or hills. Obviously the hare is a Dr AND a Dr so we all believed her !!! How wrong can a group of hashers be?
Off we set through woodland, with the sheriff taking notes along the way in his little book, Fruity Bitz was seen to come out of the bushes from a pee pee stop, which would later come back and bite her on the bum (so to speak). A false trail meant that half the hash ended up going through very very smelly mud/sludge that was calf height. When the right path was called, it was a lovely flat and grassy area to run through for those that werent bogged down by muddy shoes. This was the point that Fruity Bitz realised her mistake in going for pee pee, as she had dropped her mobile phone. Oops !! So she had to go back and try and find it, and the very kind Baglady offered to go back with her.
The sweetie stop was at the top of a big hill, therefore was greeted with glee by all, but especially Tuned In who as we know is carrying an extra pound or two at the moment. She was greeted with a big cheer and escorted by Spocky bitz and Radiohead. While we enjoyed our sugar rush we were joined at the sweetie stop by a rather large horse who seemed reluctant to leave us. It would appear he wanted a tangy fruity treat too, but alas was kicked on by his rider and off they trotted.
Then the hills started - up down, up down, up down we went, then through a fresh water stream that was ever so freezing and knee high this time. So the next hill was run with frozen toes and the heavy thud of soaked shoes. The last hill was ENORMOUS and seemed to go on forever, with Horny woman and Tail lamp coming in last, beaten by Tuned In who did AMAZINGLY well, great respect to her and peanut !! On home was called, and home we arrived, a great and varied hash was enjoyed by all.
Fines were given mainly to Fruity Bitz (who amazingly found her phone) for going pee pee, losing her technology, going back to find her technology and for using technology. Dr Jekyll was fined for using nerd names despite promising herself she wouldn't get caught this time. Naming down down was given to Michael who because he is emigrating to OZ next year will now be known as Down Below.
Thanks to Horny Woman for doing the blog. Also I would like to thank, Chesty, Radiohead, Spocky, Howling Wilf and Dr Jekyll for their assistance in pulling and pushing me up the hills!!! ED.

Friday, September 18

ONE PLACE LEFT

Due to a late cancellation there is one spot left on the Autumn Gathering weekend. Does anyone know of anyone who wants to come but missed out? Or do you know of anyone mad enough to be talked into coming?? Contact me or Groucho asap. lauriethompson25@hotmail.co.uk

Sunday, September 13

13 September 09 - Woodbury Castle - Tampa

The Hare was noteably absent when the GM called the circle. Even on his own hash Tampa couldnt make the circle on time. Despite the presence of the deputy sheriff and Double D sheriff, there was still some confusion appointing a sheriff? (How does that work?) Anyway, it was Stat-Nav.

It was on-on to an immediate long-short split. The commentary from here on will really only be about the long as Chesty and Stat-Nav both took it and are writing this blog... and wasn't it a long long! Now, I know I am seen as a fit girl after running the 10k (did I mention I did this with a broken toe!!), but this was extreme for a Sunday morning hash. The FRB's clocked up 4 miles before the sweetie stop and even the faithful back runners clocked up 3 miles.

It was downhill all the way until a check at the bottom of the hill where logic would tell you we would turn left to meet the shorts. Of course we immediately realised our mistake - why would you use logic on a Tampa hash? So off we went in completely the opposite direction which took us in a massive loop back to the car!!! We did debate quitting at this point but as we couldnt get into Spocky's car to raid the beer it seemed pointless.

So in extreme heat we continued down the route taken earlier by the shorts. You would think that it would be nice and clearly marked having been checked out earlier. Oh no, of course not because that would be applying logic!

We encountered a ridiculous number of back checks that took forever to fathom but did a good job of keeping the "long hash" together. Twice daily regretted checking in the thistle bushes after one lodged itself in her bottom!

Eventually, Twin Peaks consulted local passers-by who reported they had spotted flour. We passed by the boys with toys playing with aeroplanes which was too much excitement for Spocky and Stat-Nav who then had to demonstrate their testosterone with a race to the sweetie stop to meet the shorts. It goes without saying that Stat-Nav whipped Spocky's ass!

Amazingly there were some sweets left and Tuned-In scored points by saving me my favourite pink liqorice alsorts.

No rest for the longs as we immediately headed off into the woods and yet another back check. The shade was welcome on such a hot day and Spocky, Stat-Nav and Twin Peaks led the way.

After some lengthy loitering, Twice Daily called on-on and came to a second impromptu sweetie stop. We caught up with Tuned-In and Ring-Piece who had taken a shortcut to ensure Peanut finished the hash safely. Pebble-Dash gave up on running the hill (which was particularly lame considering he had only run the short route - we thought you were part of the fit family?!)

Lotta bottle had a small accident as she tripped and fell (I hope it wasnt as a result of Chesty distracting her by bending over in front to do up her shoe lace) but fortunately there were no injuries.

Lastly, it was back through the castle and home for the fines. Dr Jeckyl and Martial Farts were fined for using nerd names. Runs Again was fined for forgetting his own name while Fruity was fined for using technology. Lastly, the Hare was rightfully fined for taking the longs back through the car park.

Next weeks trail is at East Hill Strips with Dr Jeckyl as the Hare. On-On Hashers!

Tuesday, September 8

6th September - Stowford Cross - Radiohead

Upon reaching only two hashers were on view, Tuned-In and Ring Piece who may well have been talking babies, of course this is only a guess on my part. Who am I you may well be asking, its Groucho of course !
Within the next ten minutes 27 hashers had appeared, oh plus one in the shape of Woodpecker, who always arrives at British Woodpecker Time (10 after the real time).
Our guest hare was Radiohead, I say guest due to his absence on many occasions this year, we all missed him you know! (You might of! -ED) Anyway he gave out the usual info and off we went. It wasn't long before you could hear the sounds of "are you", the hare had in his own cunning way sent us the wrong way, off the scent so to speak. Finally an on-on could be heard, in this case on to the muck and the mire, leaping over ditches and streams as we meandered off piste in dense woodland. Howling Wilf was the first of several members of the pack to end up knee high in best quality Devon mud, a sight to behold. The poor hasher struggled for several minutes, with an a crowd of on lookers, the pack. You will no doubt be relieved to hear that Howling Wilf did eventually make it to drier land. More hashers suffered the same problems, as could be seen from the state of their trainers. Our kind hare did of course put in to action his master plan, the first of three long short splits one of which had three options, long/ medium and short, what genius our hare is........well thats what he tells us.
Meanwhile the pack was by now becoming more spread out shall we say, they covered Woodbury Common, so an unofficial hash halt was created. At this halt we were all introduced to Michael together with his dog who ended up having a hash name Jaws. He is called George but most hashers misheard and thought it was Jaws....oh the irony! The dog took a shine to the sheriff for some strange reason, who else or what else would take shine to the sheriff??? After all he's only there to take money off innocent hashers. Rumour has it that this dog, Jaws, kept clipping the sheriff's trainers. Well done that dog! Michael, by the way, got lost finding the venue and still managed to catch us up, must be a good hasher, he claimed that he was unfit at the moment! (No, he rang me on my mobile!!!! - ED)
Once back at the car park the usual fines were given out by the sheriff who as usual showed no mercy. Also beer was drunk crisps and peanuts were eaten and then in a flash we all disappeared and peace returned to Stowford Cross.
Thanks Groucho - ED
Well done for all managing to turn up at the correct venue after I caused SOOOOO much inconvenience by changing it (!!!!) On On to next weeks hash at Woodbury Castle CP.

Wednesday, September 2

30th August - Squabmoor Reservoir CP - Chip Shop + Pony Wire


Two lonely hares were sat in their car when I arrived at today's venue, not noticing them straight away it did cross my mind that I may have come to the wrong place. Then slowing the hares revealed themselves as the windows of their car dropped down,there they were to rather sleepy hares in the shape of Pony Wire and Slipshod.Soon the car park became a hive of activity with hashers leaping out of their cars, this was greeted with a great deal of relief by the hares.Horny Woman came charging into the car park only to hear a very loud thud as her car passed over a high tree stump.We all grasped but Horny Woman did not appear to be concerned.
Then we noticed a stranger in our mist it was the original sheriff in the shape of Oddbitzthis meant only one thing all lawless behaviour would have to cease, for those who are not aware our sheriff is a very,very hard man who takes no hash messing.
The hares did their usual bit in the circle then invited us to "check it out". At this point there was a degree of mayhem with hashers suffering a range of emotions as they searchrd for the trail whilst others in the pack took the change to have a mini AGM. Eventually the distant cry of a Spockybitz could heard calling on-on so on on we all went chasing the sound of the Spocky voice.His vocal range is very good, perhaps he has a future in opera.
Within five minutes we enjoyed our first of three long/short splits those doing the shorts enjoyed them anyway especially Paperwork who revealed that he had had a rather heavy day yesterday, so of thinking he had been involved in some sort of building project which demanded the use of muscle power. Wrong, arm lifting glasses of nectar was the correct answer so little or no sympathy was shown by the pack for this self in-flected condition. Ring Peace took care of Tuned-In in case she suffered any mega-hurts(she is expecting,we're not sure what she is expecting but nobody saw or heard anything) and guided her around the trail.We all think you did very very well, Ring Peace.
We were at the sweet stop when some one remarked that ever time they had seen the sheriff he had been busy writing notes in his black book, as an ex-teacher I think his handwriting and spolling have made some progress, but bearing in mind that he had been away for some time on his boat rumour has it searching for the eighth sea, one would assume that he may have improved his literacy skills.
We were treated to three bags of sweets today the pick of the bunch being marsh mallows, picked for a near by marsh perhaps.They when down well too well with hashers sticking out their hands in eager hope that there would be more, only to be disappointed.The changed the instructions upon leaving the sweet stop from three and onto one and on, some hashers now encountered great difficulty remembering this new info and chaos reigned suppreme upon reaching the next check certain members of the pack forgot the hare's info. As luck would have it the hare in the shape of Slipshod saved the day and literally got us all out of the woods.
Back at the car park the sheriff was up to his old tricks giving fines left right and centre, no mercy was shown, obviously cross the sheriff at your peril. Next we all sang or tried to sing happy birthday to Spocky, in cause you don't know rumour has it that he is now eleventy.Happy Eleventyth Spocky. Finally birthday boy produced a cake to which we all invited to consume, this proved to be very easily done, as when it comes to eating/drinking the pack suddenly need no info.
Thanks Groucho for doing the blog this week. On On to next weeks hash, Stowford Cross CP, Woodbury Common. ED